YOU WILL EXPERIENCE GREAT SEX within four days of receiving this letter, provided you send it on. Since the copy must tour the world, you must make ten copies and send them to others. This is no joke. Send no money. Send copies to people who need to GET LAID within 96 hours.
After he passed this letter on, a Montana Spinach Control Officer got his penis stuck in a cow-milking machine and had the longest series of orgasms of his life.
John Elliot tried to pick up a prostitute, but, because he broke the chain, was picked up by the police instead. When they searched his home, they found magazines of little boys which they showed to his neighbors.
In a suburb of Paris, Don Loray's trousers were ripped by an unsatisfied erection 51 days after failing to circulate the letter. However, before this happened, a condom machine gave him three condoms for the price of one (was this the consolation prize?).
Do note the following: Hebert Pudstrom received the letter in 1953. He asked his secretary to make ten copies and send them out. A few days later he encountered her in a red-light district making more than he had ever paid her at work.
General George Patton, who sent the letter on, saw what he thought was a quarter in the street. When he bent down to pick it up, a beautiful woman in a miniskirt walked by, and he got a great view.
Heywood Daddit, an unemployed chicken choker, received the letter and forgot that it had to leave his hands within 96 hours. His wife then went bowling with his best friend and never returned. Later, after finding the letter again, he mailed ten copies. A few days later he got a new wife and discovered that his old wife, who he thought was wonderful, had made love to him like a dead salmon for all these years!
Alan Fairchild received the letter and, not believing, threw the letter away. Nine days later he spilled hot coffee on his crotch.
I hope you posted this as a joke. If not I hope you trip and fall on a rusty nail.