Not sure if this is allow (cutting and pasting from another forums thread), so if it's not, mods feel free to delete.
Read this on t-mag, in reply to a lady asking about how friends, family and significant others support other women who workout in compete
I have been completely unsupportive of my past girlfriends who had rigid, disciplined fitness regimens. It's not so much that I don't like them having such a regimen, as the attitude they tend to get around it.
I am not by any means saying everyone does these things, but here's a basic checklist of why I didn't particularly care for their various commitments to health and fitness.
1. Don't make me eat what you eat. This is YOUR diet, not mine, and if I want a pizza your diet shouldn't have any say in the matter.
2. Don't criticise what I eat. I'm not ignorant; I don't need anyone to tell me a breakfast of Twinkies and beer is unhealthy.
3. Don't try to talk me into working out. If I want to, I will. If I don't, leave me alone.
4. Don't invite me to your gym. If I'm not exercising regularly, you're almost certainly stronger than me, and I don't want to advertise that in public.
5. Don't try to talk me out of my bad habits. I will quit smoking, drinking, and whatever else you dislike when I am good and ready.
6. Most importantly, drop the attitude that your workouts make you "better" than other people. Even if you never say it to me, I know what I look like. So if you're pointing at someone skinnier than I am and making rude comments about his nasty fat blubber-butt and complete lack of willpower... I can do the math.
It's not helpful to do these things, anyway, because it inevitably turns the relationship (romantic or otherwise) into a competition. As long as I stay out of shape, I win. This is counterproductive.
Again, I'm not accusing anyone of anything, and there are certainly people out there who just get petty about women working out and don't really have or need a reason. But, by and large, this sort of behavior is the major problem *I* have with most health-conscious women. If this is a pretty good description of how you treat the "unsupportive" people in your life, maybe you could think about it a little.
Anyways, crazy and some angry responses were made in return to it, and some supportive ones. I understand the sentiment. When I didn't workout, I hated people who would do that to me. Not girlfriends, but anyone that decided to lose weight and starting looking at me funny if I was even touching a piece of pizza telling me how bad it was (this was when I was like 5'10 and 150 pounds too.. flabby skinny kid) for me. Also people trying to get me into working out by the whole degrading style of thought.
I've always been.. not uncaring.. but not unsupportive or looking down at the people in my life who don't work out. Even during my cutting time, I didn't care if roomies had pizza and pop when I was eating a plain chicken breast. Parents were worried for a bit about me, we talked. They understood. Brother starting training with me not long afterwards (not because I talked him into it. Didn't try one way or another. Maybe results on my part, or just brother bonding thing, I don't know. Maybe he just needed someone to workout with) and parents started not longer afterwards. First father, who'd gone from manual labor to a management position.. and then afterwards mother to a degree. I gave advice when asked, not preaching..
So, I suppose I agree with him to a degree. If you expect someone to be supportive of you working out, be supportive of them not working out. Girlfriend is trying to gain weight right now (beautiful girl as is, but underweight for her height, so she decide to do it for health reasons). I invited her to the gym with me so she could gain healthy like. She turned me down. I accepted that.
Anyone have any other comments for or against? Just seeing how people on this forum would react to it.