The Five Biggest Contradictions in Fitness
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The Five Biggest Contradictions in Fitness

Itís no secret that when people contradict themselves, it has the effect of making the flaws in their actions or statements seem glaringly obvious. But what about when WE ourselves get caught contradicting ourselves by someone else?

By: Nick Tumminello Added: January 6th, 2014
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Thread: Bar Monkey

  1. #1
    Push powerlifting heathj's Avatar
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    Bar Monkey

    A guy walks in to a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking the monkey jumps all around the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them. Then he grabs some sliced limes and eats them. Then he jumps on to the pool table, grabs one of the billiard balls, sticks it in his mouth, and to everyone's amazement, somehow swallows it whole.
    The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey did?"

    The guy says, "No, what?"

    "He just ate the cue ball off my pool table -- whole!"

    "Yeah, that doesn't surprize me," replied the guy. "He eats everything in sight, the little bastard. Sorry. I'll pay for everything."

    The man finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey ate and leaves.

    Two weeks later, he's in the bar again, and his pet monkey is with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his ass, pulls it out and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asks.

    "No, what?" replied the guy. "Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his ass, pulled
    it out and ate it!" said the bartender.

    "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. He still eats everything in sight but, ever since he swallowed that cue ball, he measures everything first."

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  3. #2
    Banned Reinier's Avatar
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    that monkey is smarter than i am

  4. #3
    Party of "No." Tryska's Avatar
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    baha!

    *lmao* that was pretty damn funny heathie.
    A little learning is a dangerous thing...

    Live Dangerously! Learn a Little!


    Dude, did Doogie Howser just steal my fucking car?

  5. #4
    No more turning away G-B's Avatar
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    ROFLMAO...that was funny
    BMF member

    "Emancipate yourself from mental slavery,no one but ourselves can free our minds." - Bob Marley

  6. #5
    is no more. Orange357's Avatar
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    Aug 2001
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    LMAO! :evillaugh
    ...watch me reap of what I sow....

    and BOOM goes the dynomite!

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