The Five Biggest Contradictions in Fitness
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The Five Biggest Contradictions in Fitness

It’s no secret that when people contradict themselves, it has the effect of making the flaws in their actions or statements seem glaringly obvious. But what about when WE ourselves get caught contradicting ourselves by someone else?

By: Nick Tumminello Added: January 6th, 2014
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Thread: Truth...

  1. #1
    Just watch me ... Built's Avatar
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    Truth...

    1) When I die, I want to die like my grandfather--who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car."

    --Author Unknown



    2) Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children."

    --Author Unknown



    3) "Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."

    --Drew Carey



    4) "The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house."

    --Jeff Foxworthy



    5) "If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there is a man on base."

    --Dave Barry



    6) "Relationships are hard. It's like a full time job, and we should treat it like one. If your girlfriend wants to leave you, she should give you two weeks' notice. There should be severance pay and the day before she leaves you, she should have to find you a temp."

    --Bob Ettinger



    7) "My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.'"

    ;--Paula Poundstone



    8) "A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: "Duh."

    --Conan O'Brien



    9) "Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God.... I could be eating a slow learner."

    --Lynda Montgomery



    10) "I think that's how Chicago got started. Bunch of people in New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn't cold enough. Let's go west.'"

    --Richard Jeni



    11) "If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead."

    --Johnny Carson



    12) "Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography."

    --Paul Rodriguez



    13) "My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law."

    --Jerry Seinfeld



    14) "Remember in elementary school, you were told that in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic in that? What, do tall people burn slower?"

    --Warren Hutcherson



    15) "Bigamy is having one wife/husband too many. Monogamy is the same."

    --Oscar Wilde



    16) "Suppose you were an idiot ... And suppose you were a member of Congress... But I repeat myself."

    --Mark Twain



    17) "Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Afghanistan."

    --A. Whitney Brown



    18) "You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!'"

    --Dave Barry



    19) Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are attractive to the opposite sex.

    --Unknown woman, presumed still looking for a date



    20) Do you know why they call it "PMS"? Because "Mad Cow Disease" was taken.


    --Unknown man, presumed deceased

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  3. #2
    II MrWebb78's Avatar
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    lol, good stuff.
    A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government. - Edward Abbey

    There is a wide difference between speaking to deceive, and being silent to be impenetrable. - Voltaire

    If it can be imagined, it can be done. - Me

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  4. #3
    Banned
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    lol, some of those were pretty good

  5. #4
    Wannabe Rick James Genacide's Avatar
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    <---- Kinda looks like a yawn
    Last edited by Genacide; 03-16-2005 at 05:03 AM.
    "Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." -- Benjamin Franklin

  6. #5
    AM MMA Fighter crazedwombat's Avatar
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    the last one is best
    HT: 6'3 / WT: 265lbs 16%BF

    "Somewhere along the line, we seem to have confused comfort with happiness."

    MMA Guru
    - I like girls -

  7. #6
    Banned
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    "My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.'"

    ;--Paula Poundstone
    Thats hillarious lol

  8. #7
    Breaker of Skulls Guido's Avatar
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    5) "If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there is a man on base."

    --Dave Barry
    lol So true, and so sad.
    5'9" 195 lbs
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    "Most people don't want to learn new things. They only want to hear about things that validate crap they're already doing." - Mike Boyle

  9. #8
    Steak and Eggs pusher's Avatar
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    nice post.
    "The highest reward for man's toil is not what he gets for it, but what he becomes by it." -John Ruskin 1819-1900

    "He who fights monsters should see to it that in the process, he does not
    become a monster. And when you look into the abyss, the abyss also looks into
    you." - Nietzche

  10. #9
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    21) If women can't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy.

    -- Red Green


    22) Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

    --Robert A. Heinlein

  11. #10
    En botella whey! Max-Mex's Avatar
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    19) Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are attractive to the opposite sex.

    --Unknown woman, presumed still looking for a date


    Werd!
    Burritos are the bomb for bulking!
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  12. #11
    Senior Member
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    giggle giggle

  13. #12
    Bismarck in Training emjlr3's Avatar
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    ha, not bad
    Height: 6' 1/2" Age: 24

    Current Status: The brace is off....
    Weight: 208 lbs.

    Back in action...

  14. #13
    B+D+S = 1 Massive Mofo
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    not bad at all built! where did you collect those?
    Past (4Jul05) | Present (22Nov05)
    Weight - 205 | 217
    BF - 26% | 22%
    Max Bench - 230| 295
    Max Dead - 240 | 275
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    Total: [710] | [885]

  15. #14
    Om. Avocado. MM's Avatar
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    Those are pretty good.

  16. #15
    «º°¤£é_©h賓°º» DiViNa99's Avatar
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    2) Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children."

    --Author Unknown
    I like this one.

  17. #16
    General of Froot Soldiers TwiloMike's Avatar
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    14) "Remember in elementary school, you were told that in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic in that? What, do tall people burn slower?"

    --Warren Hutcherson
    I've wondered that myself. (6'3)
    19) Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are attractive to the opposite sex.

    --Unknown woman, presumed still looking for a date
    So true.... and so sad.
    Homer Simpson - "The code of the schoolyard, Marge! The rules that teach a boy to be a man. Let's see. Don't tattle. Always make fun of those different from you. Never say anything, unless you're sure everyone feels exactly the same way you do."
    www.dictionary.com (for all your spell-checking needs)
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    Viking Warlord- "You can't motorboat a personality".
    Built- "See, truly artful copy-paste isn't random. You need to know WHAT to copy before you go pasting..."

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