Holiday Fruitcake Recipe
Here's a great recipe for a little holiday cheer!
1 cup water
1 cup sugar
4 large eggs
2 cups dried fruit
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup brown sugar
1 gallon whiskey
Sample the whiskey to check for quality. Take a large bowl. Check the whiskey again to be sure it is of the highest quality.
Pour one level cup and drink. Repeat.
Turn on the electric mixer; beat 1 cup butter in a large, fluffy bowl.
Add 1 teaspoon of sugar and beat again. Make sure the whiskey is
still OK. Cry another tup. Turn off mixer.
Break 2 legs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
Mix on the turner.
If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a
Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift 2 cups of
salt ......Or something. Who cares? Check the whiskey.
Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you can find.
Grease the oven.
Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don't forget to beat off the
turner. Throw the bowl out of the window.
Check the whiskey again. Go to bed. Who the hell likes fruitcake anyway?
Deadlifts are like women, they'll hurt you everytime, but they'll also make you a man. - Me
Friends don't let friends do dumbell kickbacks. - Me
ElP is the smartest man in the world. - Gyno Rhino
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls. -- Dan Quayle
If do right, no can defense. -- Mr. Miyagi
Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey:
I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.
Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a beautiful rose in his beak, and also he's carrying a very beautiful painting with his feet. And also, you're drunk.
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