The Five Biggest Contradictions in Fitness
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The Five Biggest Contradictions in Fitness

Itís no secret that when people contradict themselves, it has the effect of making the flaws in their actions or statements seem glaringly obvious. But what about when WE ourselves get caught contradicting ourselves by someone else?

By: Nick Tumminello Added: January 6th, 2014
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  1. #1
    Senior Member Ironminded's Avatar
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    Definition of 'casual sex' and or 'Hitting it' ?

    This question was suggested by Chrisconnell85's post. I was wondering what people mean by 'casual sex' and the term 'hitting it'? The rest of this post may be a bit long and rambling as I think about sex a lot, lol I'm a guy so sue me, and much of that will go into my question/confusion.

    When I hear the term 'casual sex' or 'hitting it' I think of two people who are not in a relationship but having sex. I use 'relationship' here in a very broad sense, meant to include such things as friends-with-benifits situations and married couples. I was wondering if this seems accurate?

    I understand that many people have different criteria for the terms under consideration. My gf is someone who is 'waiting for marriage', though niether her nor I are virgins she has rededicated herself to this and I am supportive of it, though it is not a choice I make for myself. It seems to me that much of how people define 'casual sex' and 'hitting it' depends on thier views on what sex is and how it should be or be thought of.

    In my experience those people who view sex as something very special, inherently valuable and having some intrinsic worth, then casual sex can come to mean any kind of sex outside of a seriously commited relationship.

    I view sex as a fun act, having no intrinsic value or worth beyond the pleasure it brings. Now, hear my explanation before I get barbecued alive by the flames. I think that the intrinsic value which most people think sex has is due not to the physical act but to the emotional weight we place upon the act. It is this emotional cost which we charge, and which is placed there by those involved which causes us to think there is some intrinsic worth to the act beyond the physical pleasure. So I make the distinction between the emotional content of an act and the physical content of the act. It seems to me that sex is an act, just that and nothing more. But it is an act which we often associate intense emotions with.

    Thus it is these intense emotions which have the intrinsic value rather then the act itself. An example; If someone just has casual sex with another person that does not imply any emotional bond. However in a relationship it is the emotions which cause us to get into sexual situations. Do people think this is a valid distinction? Between the act of sex and the emotions involved? It seems so to me. Im my own experience some none sexual acts can have much more emotional cost/benifit. Something as simple as a kiss can mean much more then sex sometimes, if there is emotion and a bond behind it or associated with it.

    What does everyone else think? How do you Define 'casual sex'? and do you think sex as an act has some intrinsic value over and above the physical?

    P.s. I do not mean to sound like I dissapprove of casual sex, what ever the definition. I am not someone who can engage in in, I just don't know what to say to get girls to want that, to much of a dork I guess. However it is a phenomenon which interests me in that it is an act which often has intense emotional meaning, but sometimes doesn't.
    Last edited by Ironminded; 05-11-2005 at 01:40 PM.
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  3. #2
    General of Froot Soldiers TwiloMike's Avatar
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    IMO "casual sex" is sex on the fly- you get the itch, find someone randomto scratch it, and that's all there is to it- no desire or need to see the other person again.
    I always understoon "hitting it" as not necessarily limited to casual sex. "I'd hit it" can very well mean "I'd hit it over and over".
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  4. #3
    Player Hater PowerManDL's Avatar
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    Casual sex is fairly straightforward. Sex without any ties. It can be a one-night hookup or it can be an on-going ****-buddy situation.

    Sex can be just fun, yes, but to say it has no other value besides that is somewhat misleading, IMO.

    There's a difference between ****ing and sex with someone you care for.
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  5. #4
    Senior Member getfit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PowerManDL
    Casual sex is fairly straightforward. Sex without any ties. It can be a one-night hookup or it can be an on-going ****-buddy situation.

    Sex can be just fun, yes, but to say it has no other value besides that is somewhat misleading, IMO.

    There's a difference between ****ing and sex with someone you care for.
    :withstupi agreed
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  6. #5
    Senior Member RussianRocket's Avatar
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    love and lust border each other.
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  7. #6
    Where's all the 45s ?!?! Wierz's Avatar
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    Good post. I won't get into my own definition of sex because I'm sure it differs from one person to the next. I consider casual sex as having sex with no intention of beginning/establishing a lasting relationship with the other person.

    The responsibilities of having sex are what make it more than just "an act" to me. Pregnancy and STDs are not something I take lightly (I'm not suggesting that others do, I'm just paraphrasing my beliefs here). I also view sex as a way of becoming closer to the person you're with. For me, it's not something I just do with any woman that is interested in me, and that I am in turn interested in. Also, I think sex with some women (not all, maybe just the ones I've become close with) implies a want for a deeper connection with them. I've known lots of women who were hurt (ultimately it was their fault, but still) by men just looking to "hit it" but promising more.

    Also, I don't categorize women or men into the "slut" category just by the number of people they've slept with. It's the intentions that led to that number that I'm more interested in. If a woman could honestly tell me she'd slept with 10 guys, and in all cases was trying to make a relationship work with each of them, that to me is different than her picking up 10 random guys in bars and having sex with them. The second situation suggests to me that she throws herself around and doesn't respect herself enough. (A generalization I know, but how I feel nonetheless).
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  8. #7
    Senior Member Ironminded's Avatar
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    I agree with PowermanDL

    I think I agree with PowermanDL, I just think we are putting the same idea two different ways. It seems to me that 'making love' or having sex, depending upon semantics, needs to be distinguished from '****ing' or just having sex, again dependant upon semantics. Either way the former has great emotional value and is inherently intrinsicly valuable while the later is not. This was the distinction I was trying to get at.

    One could perform the exact same physical moves/actions in two different situations, but one has inherent intrinsic value and the other does not due solely on the emotions involved. So one would be '****ing', when there is little or no emotion involved, and the other would be 'making love', when emotions are strongly involved and probably the cause of the physical actions.

    I also agree with RussianRocket, and think that he has something really important there. Love and Lust not only border each other, but in cases cross over each other and affect each other. So much so that often we get the two confused, or are confused by them [there is a difference here].

    One finale thing, Wierz, I see what you mean about 'sex' being a way to be closer to someone. But I just dont think it is necessasarily so. Sex to me seems to be like an enzyme. So think of sex like chemical B, and three people as chemicals A, C, and D. Now when A and C get together B can act to bring them closer togeter, ie enable the chemical reaction. However if A and D get together B might not act as an enzym and might infact inhibit the reaction, or harm a relationship. Just a funny way to look at it I guess.
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  9. #8
    Where's all the 45s ?!?! Wierz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ironminded
    One finale thing, Wierz, I see what you mean about 'sex' being a way to be closer to someone. But I just dont think it is necessasarily so. Sex to me seems to be like an enzyme. So think of sex like chemical B, and three people as chemicals A, C, and D. Now when A and C get together B can act to bring them closer togeter, ie enable the chemical reaction. However if A and D get together B might not act as an enzym and might infact inhibit the reaction, or harm a relationship. Just a funny way to look at it I guess.
    I think you are right on. It is one way some people might become close (in that case, some people is me hehe) and it might not for others. I personally can't have sex with someone without the end result being me feeling closer to them or feeling like we're more connected than before the act.
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  10. #9
    Where's all the 45s ?!?! Wierz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tryska
    Judgemental BS..
    My feelings on this are pretty clear to me and they don't cause me any emotional distress or problems.
    Last edited by Paul Stagg; 05-11-2005 at 06:41 PM.
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  11. #10
    Senior Member Ironminded's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tryska
    Judgemental BS post deleted

    Probably its just that I realize it is an important thing for many people and don't ever want to screw it up for someone else. As such I tend to think about it alot, oh and I am a guy and we all know what that means :evillaugh .
    Last edited by Paul Stagg; 05-11-2005 at 06:42 PM.
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  12. #11
    Party of "No." Tryska's Avatar
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    yeah you might be spending way too much time overthinking it.
    Last edited by Paul Stagg; 05-11-2005 at 06:42 PM. Reason: Jugemental BS
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  13. #12
    DeaTH BeFoRe WeaKNeSs sCaRz*Of*PaiN's Avatar
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    Sex is good. Nothing wrong with sex.
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  14. #13
    Mostly healed up! PizDoff's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TwiloMike
    IMO "casual sex" is sex on the fly- you get the itch, find someone randomto scratch it, and that's all there is to it- no desire or need to see the other person again.
    I always understoon "hitting it" as not necessarily limited to casual sex. "I'd hit it" can very well mean "I'd hit it over and over".
    Please never talk about itches and sex together.
    That is all.

  15. #14
    still dislikes Art Atwood Hatred's Avatar
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    Ironminded= You actually just may have clarified something for me. That was an excellent post and something that I wish we had more of here.
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    I can;t even remember the last time that I had spur-of-the-moment sex. Where you just absolutely have to have each other right then and there.
    Truth is I can remember it just hasn't happened in this state.
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  16. #15
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    Casual sex, is sex without having to wear a neck tie and slacks.

  17. #16
    BooBoo ChaCha baby! Vitalize's Avatar
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    Different strokes for different folks.
    Personally I waited until I met the right woman (my now wife) and I feel better for it.
    I dont like the **** buddy approach at all...it seems shallow, hollow, lonley, and empty.
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  18. #17
    Senior Member lynnlynn7's Avatar
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    Sometimes sex is just sex and other times sex is disguised as love and sometimes love is disguised as sex. I think you can have a "casual" sexual experience even if you are in a committed relationship. For example, if I bang my husband over our lunch hour, it's purely for pleasure. If we had a long romantic dinner together followed by a massage,then that's not casual, it's a loving, intimate thing.
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  19. #18
    Banned spencerjrus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ironminded
    My gf is someone who is 'waiting for marriage', though niether her nor I are virgins she has rededicated herself to this and I am supportive of it

    Your girlfriend is cheating on you.

  20. #19
    Hot as FCUK Shark's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vitalize
    I dont like the **** buddy approach at all...it seems shallow, hollow, lonley, and empty.
    You wouldn't know though would you?

  21. #20

  22. #21
    BooBoo ChaCha baby! Vitalize's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Built
    Yeah, he says that like it's a BAD thing...
    Well that depends on how you look at things, dosent it.
    Yes I do see it as a bad thing as in ****ing a complete stranger...
    Love is beautiful and special when 2 people care deeply for one another and are truly in love...****ing with friends or strangers because you are feeling randy or are fuelled by alcohol is fine if that is your thing but I just find it a bit sad.
    People that do this seem to want love but dont understand exactly what it is.
    I know many people who have **** buddies and Im cool with that but like I said its not my thing.
    I like going home to a woman whom I love and she loves me...rather than constantly being on the prowl for a quick screw, and returning to an empty house.
    Last edited by Vitalize; 05-12-2005 at 02:23 AM.
    Never let the fear of striking out get in your way.
    George Herman "Babe" Ruth
    "You must have long term goals to keep you from being frustrated by short term failures."
    Charles C. Noble
    "Aim for the top. There is plenty of room there. There are so few at the top it is almost lonely there."
    Samuel Insull
    There is no shame in going down. The only shame is if you don't get back up.
    Muhammad Ali
    Remember, all we have is what we do in this life... if you're doing nothing, then you're just waiting to die.
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  23. #22
    DeaTH BeFoRe WeaKNeSs sCaRz*Of*PaiN's Avatar
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    Love is beautiful and special when 2 people care deeply for one another and are truly in love...****ing for fun or because you are fuelled by alcohol is fine if that is your thing but I just find it a bit sad.
    Love is hard to find. It isn't as simple as you think. Have you ever truly been in love? I have.
    "The only easy day was yesterday."

  24. #23
    BooBoo ChaCha baby! Vitalize's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chris Russow
    You wouldn't know though would you?
    True love
    You wouldn't know though would you?
    Never let the fear of striking out get in your way.
    George Herman "Babe" Ruth
    "You must have long term goals to keep you from being frustrated by short term failures."
    Charles C. Noble
    "Aim for the top. There is plenty of room there. There are so few at the top it is almost lonely there."
    Samuel Insull
    There is no shame in going down. The only shame is if you don't get back up.
    Muhammad Ali
    Remember, all we have is what we do in this life... if you're doing nothing, then you're just waiting to die.
    Machine

  25. #24
    BooBoo ChaCha baby! Vitalize's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sCaRz*Of*PaiN
    Love is hard to find. It isn't as simple as you think. Have you ever truly been in love? I have.
    Yes and I have 2 beautiful daughters with her too.
    I agree 100% with you... it took me 25 years to find TRUE love.
    When you find it you have to hold on to it....whatever the cost.
    Or else you might fall into the catagory of marrying out of fear of being alone and too old, whilst all around you all your friends are hitched up with families of their own.
    Seen it happen too often.
    I left everything...my nice house, decent job, friends, and family and travelled to the other side of the world to be with the woman I love in the blink of an eye.
    Listen to your heart not your dick.
    Last edited by Vitalize; 05-12-2005 at 02:26 AM.
    Never let the fear of striking out get in your way.
    George Herman "Babe" Ruth
    "You must have long term goals to keep you from being frustrated by short term failures."
    Charles C. Noble
    "Aim for the top. There is plenty of room there. There are so few at the top it is almost lonely there."
    Samuel Insull
    There is no shame in going down. The only shame is if you don't get back up.
    Muhammad Ali
    Remember, all we have is what we do in this life... if you're doing nothing, then you're just waiting to die.
    Machine

  26. #25
    DeaTH BeFoRe WeaKNeSs sCaRz*Of*PaiN's Avatar
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    When you find it you have to hold on to it....whatever the cost.
    I lost my love of 4 years to a horrible tragedy. Don't know if I'll ever find someone like her again.

    Yes and I have 2 beautiful daughters with her too.
    That's great. I'd love to have a daughter of my own one of these days (don't know when or if that'll happen).
    "The only easy day was yesterday."

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