It's body dysmorphia... twisted self-perception. Same as anorexia. I was anorexic to a terrible degree about 4-5 years ago... Eating 200-400 calories a day, blacking out after going up a flight of stairs, losing control of bodily functions due to electrolyte imbalances, and even though I could see every rib in my back and would bruise on the soles of my feet from walking (no fat to pad them), I would still feel my "rolls of fat" on my abdomen, get angry every time a bite of food would pass my lips, and pat myself on the back when I managed to go a whole day eating nothing more than a protein bar.
Add T3, cocaine, and ephedrine on top of that, and I was one ****ed up individual.
This is why the "adonis" syndrome never really took hold. If I hadn't conquered my demons in the body dysmorphia arena long ago, I'd be dead.
"Except Belial. He knows everything. This isn't a sarcastic attack, either. He really knows everything." -----Organichu
"Alex is all knowing and perfect"-----Jane (loosely paraphrased)
Current mile time: 4:23
Century races: 3
Current supps: http://www.atlargenutrition.com/prod...covery/results
well..the answer is...she sucks
Belial, damn you went trough hell, glad to see that you won over it big time
A big thanks to all my friends in the USA, I am deeply grateful for your hospitality and kindness.
belial, crazy story. what got you over that?
BCC, are you going to stay natural? you are still a young dude, you could easily take time off from AS and come back in a few years. you arent going to stop BB are you?
Wow Belial, looking at your lifts and listening to you talk, one could never guess in a million years that happened to you. Congratulations big time on beating it.
"You can take control of my mind and my body, but there is one thing a Saiyan always keeps.... his PRIDE!"- Vegeta
I am going to stay natural for the time being. Although I did have plans to go back on eventually. No set time frame though, that will more depend on the results of my blood tests and getting everything normalized. At the very earliest I could see myself getting back on gear by October. And when I do I will be taking a totally different approach. Part of that includes actually setting limits and having a real plan. 500 test, 500 eq, and maybe an oral run 4 weeks on/4 weeks off and nothing more. If I can't grow off of that, then table tennis it is.Originally Posted by bigpoppapump979
I certainly won't be giving up bodybuilding anytime soon, I'd like to continue that until I'm 30 or so.
"As far as drugs were concerned, all my bodybuilding heroes were on everything but roller skates."
In Memphis, it is illegal for a woman to drive by herself, unless a man is walking or running infront of the vehicle, waving a red flag in order to warn approaching pedestrians and motorists.
Hear, hear!Originally Posted by BCC
I am glad that these words came out of your mouth (well, technically, that you posted them here) -- I remember so many guys that do not have the slightest respect for someone who isn't "huge" in their definition. They don't see you as a worthy human being. Considering, that not all people are gifted like others, one should really see if that particular person is giving its best in that very situation.
I remember my basic training when I hated my instructor because he drilled us so much -- but later, I understood that he very clearly saw our limits of how much we were able to do. And he drove us to our limits -not beyond- and acknowleded our achievements which varied from person to person.
(I am from Germany, we have compulsory army service)
So, this is really what it is about: To get to one's own limits -- and probably beyond.
One "good" thing about your roid usage, though: You pushed your natural barriers. That means that you can hold more muscle mass naturally (which you couldn't without having used steroids in the first place). So, you will still look huge naturally - just the scale won't make you "happy".