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Thread: Women, life, and Confidence.. Some advice needed!

  1. #1
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    Women, life, and Confidence.. Some advice needed!

    Okay, I have been reading through the forums here a little and I noticed that most here are around my age or slightly older / younger (I am 20).

    I need some major advice. I been dating this woman for about 2 years when I finally cut it off with her. I knew at the time I did the right thing, because I KNEW she was fooling around with my head and another guy's head.

    Put it this way: We had sex on Saturday, I told her I got tired of waiting for her because I had been waiting for 2 to 3 months before she got back with me again, and then 2 days later she is with the other fellow. What hurts out of this ordeal is how she says she loves me and what not and then gets with him 2 or 3 days later.

    Yet what hurts the most, is I finally got a good look at the guy that got her over me, and I am just baffled. I am not saying I am "hot" or extremely "good looking", but I just can't believe she went with some dirty looking 24 year old. I realize then his winning attribute was his attitude, not his looks.

    So that brings me here, I don't want to sound like I am on everyone's nuts (or the other part if your a woman), but everyone here is from I see the better looking people (and more confident) of the bunch, so I am pretty much asking for YOUR HELP, in how I can get over this, move on, and get with somebody else or anything!

    A lot of people in a recent thread just say: "Go out and bang 5 chicks" or something around those lines, but what can you do if you can't even get hooked up with one?

    Thanks for reading!
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    WBBs motivational Speaker Rock's Avatar
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    Shes a girl, she can get as much sex she wants when she wants it, its irrational for her just to settle with just trying out one.


    If your dating a young girl for 2years, she is going to have sex with others.
    A big thanks to all my friends in the USA, I am deeply grateful for your hospitality and kindness.

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    Well I really aint your age or nothing but I consider myself a mature individual and I recently lost my girl to some skinny punk that couldnt do a pushup if his life depended on it...and I really ain't gonna tell you to go bang 5 chicks because I've hooked up right after our break up from experiance (as a highschooler take it with a grain of salt) it don't help man you just end up missing her even more you just gotta find a good girl and take it slow with her...Time heals all wounds trust me on that. Oh the biggest part:Just focus on yourself bro make yourself better, a little stronger,a little leaner,a little smarter, a little better looking and it will come Best of luck

    Kyle

  4. #4
    Senior Member IdaMAN's Avatar
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    She wanted you to still want her and she wanted to know that she still did it for you, while having what she wanted as well. She prolly was having trouble letting you go as well and didn't want to do it if she didn't have to unless she had no choice. I would suggest you just do your own thing and spend some you timealone, hang out with your friends, and let them be around you and have some fun. As time goes, things will begin to be more clear and you will be onto the next phase of your life. Just look at it as a loss, because that is what it really is and it takes time to heal. People change and want different things in their lives. It doesn't have to be a reflection apon who you are. Don't sweat it and find the good things in it. You are now back to being %100 in control of your life. Enjoy!
    Last edited by IdaMAN; 08-09-2005 at 04:50 PM.
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    Wannabebig New Member HahnB's Avatar
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    From my experience, when you leave a long relationship where there was strong feelings, you will care about that person the most until you meet someone else you like just as much, or more. You could bang 600 girls, if you end up not having feelings for a single one you're still going to be thinking about her till you meet the "next" girl. Go out and have a good time, how far away is your 21st birthday
    My brother and I were brutal. I once chased him around the house with a spoon that I put on the burner. I burned that little pricks leg. -sharkall2003

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    Rory Parker Behemoth's Avatar
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    I'm pretty sure the other thread you were referring to was mine. I'm still hurting but the only thing that has helped me is talking to other people, and sharing my situation. Even the thread here helped. I'm trying to keep myself occupied at all times with as many people as I can. I told as many people my situation as I could and they all have helped. Also what gutz981 said about making yourself better really helps too. Go to the gym, workout hard as you can. Get a haircut, do whatever just make yourself feel good about yourself. I don't know if you're religious or not but one of the biggest help for me is prayer and reading the Bible. I can really feel the prayers and it helps to know I have a lot of people doing so for me. If you read the Bible or would like to start I would suggest the book of Job. He seems to have the most unhelpable situation in the world and yet he still finds comfort and hope in the Lord.

    If you just need someone to talk with about lifting or whatever I can always use another friend too. My emails ror_e@hotmail.com and my AIM is ror804. Peace and goodluck bro.

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    Dude , you gotta chill out on yourself .

    1st off , she didnt choose the other guy because he has to deal with the fact that she bangs you too . Big deal . Now you know she's a trick ... move on . I understand you still dig her but dig her physically . Mess around with her if you want every now and then but dont EVER get serious with her . She disrespected you already a couple times , she knows she can again so dont give her the chance . If you do mess with her wrap your p*cker bro ... I've seen dudes in your situation finally get things under control then ****BAM**** she gets knocked up .

    Secondly .... I dont know about the better looking thing you are talking about . There are some studly dudes on here and hot chicks too . But it's all relative bro . Capitalize on your strengths . If you arent model material , make sure your personality is up to par and work out to get the body you want . Thats what I did . I aint very good looking but I got a good personality and I'm almost a big guy now . A little fat but still big hahaha . My woman looks good ... a little like a hooker but good hahahah ( personal joke for some of us on here . )

    Women will go for a good personality more often than not .

    Just dont let your new woman meet Chase or Hatred ... my woman almost dumped me until I told her those two were sleeping together . hahahahah

    Good luck .
    Give me your broken , give me your beaten ... I will build them up , I will lead them ... to the threshhold . Make you stronger , make you believe .

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Behemoth
    I'm pretty sure the other thread you were referring to was mine. I'm still hurting but the only thing that has helped me is talking to other people, and sharing my situation. Even the thread here helped. I'm trying to keep myself occupied at all times with as many people as I can. I told as many people my situation as I could and they all have helped. Also what gutz981 said about making yourself better really helps too. Go to the gym, workout hard as you can. Get a haircut, do whatever just make yourself feel good about yourself. I don't know if you're religious or not but one of the biggest help for me is prayer and reading the Bible. I can really feel the prayers and it helps to know I have a lot of people doing so for me. If you read the Bible or would like to start I would suggest the book of Job. He seems to have the most unhelpable situation in the world and yet he still finds comfort and hope in the Lord.

    If you just need someone to talk with about lifting or whatever I can always use another friend too. My emails ror_e@hotmail.com and my AIM is ror804. Peace and goodluck bro.
    Yes, I was referrin to your thread.

    I think talking about it is helping me out a lot actually. I feel much better now that I've said something. My main thing I guess then is to just go out there and try right?

    College starts back up soon, so I'll get plenty of just me time. Its work and school for me again

    I turn 21 April 9th of next year. Got some time to go before I can go clubbin' or bar hopping.

    Thanks a bunch for listening.
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  9. #9
    Pain in the Ass Allie's Avatar
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    Everytime I have left a bf and dated someone it's because I feel I can trust them more and that there is more of an emotional conection than anything else. it could be that she wasn't getting that support from you and needed it from someone else. She might also have a few issues since she seems to have no problem hopping from your bed and into another guys.

    As silly as it sounds I hear this a LONG time ago from Rupaul of all people...
    How are you going to love someone else if you can't love yourself!?!

    It's so true. So figure out what you want from life and yourself and then everything else falls into place

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by 1997T-Bird
    Yes, I was referrin to your thread.

    I think talking about it is helping me out a lot actually. I feel much better now that I've said something. My main thing I guess then is to just go out there and try right?

    College starts back up soon, so I'll get plenty of just me time. Its work and school for me again

    I turn 21 April 9th of next year. Got some time to go before I can go clubbin' or bar hopping.

    Thanks a bunch for listening.
    Its all about you...Thats it said plain and simple. Go party clubbin' just keep YOUR goals in mind and don't make a goal to get a girl because you shouldnt be looking for them

  11. #11
    202 CarlP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HahnB
    From my experience, when you leave a long relationship where there was strong feelings, you will care about that person the most until you meet someone else you like just as much, or more. You could bang 600 girls, if you end up not having feelings for a single one you're still going to be thinking about her till you meet the "next" girl. Go out and have a good time, how far away is your 21st birthday
    Absolutely.

  12. #12
    Om. Avocado. MM's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Brawl
    Just dont let your new woman meet Chase or Hatred ... my woman almost dumped me until I told her those two were sleeping together . hahahahah

    Good luck .
    Sweetest. Reply. Ever.

    Good luck getting big Brawl. Since you already look like a tank, I'm assuming you want the aircraft cairrer look.
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  13. #13
    Player Hater PowerManDL's Avatar
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    Lesson #1: Don't get worked up over a ho.
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  14. #14
    MulletII - AKA Ninja Boner Gyno Rhino's Avatar
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    Gonna have to grow up a bit.

    Invest some serious time in yourself, less in stank snakes.
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    Senior Member lynnlynn7's Avatar
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    I agree that focusing on yourself and doing the things you enjoy are the best way to spend the time needed to heal a wounded heart. Hang in there, real love will come and find you when you aren't looking for it.
    Lynn

    "When life gives you lemons, just say 'no thanks'." - Henry Rollins

  16. #16
    Banned Praetorian's Avatar
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    what the..?

    this place starts looking like girlproblems.com

    1) don't get worked up over chicks, they are not worth it
    2) always take care of no. 1 (yourself)
    3) realize that you don't need chicks to be happy. find a hobby. grow up.

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by PowerManDL
    Lesson #1: Don't get worked up over a ho.
    You really can't make it any more simple than that but I will try.

    Don't get worked up over anything, especially a ho.

  18. #18
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    its these kinds of things that make me glad that my parents never taught me to love. (kidding.... sorta)

    anyway, relationships fade over time...people to move away from eachother emotionally, yada yada yada. Dont get too worked up over it. Practically everyone has to deal with these problems at some point (and worse for them if they dont), so why assume there is something wrong with you? Dont worry about it too much. Pick up and move on and you'll find someone else.
    Last edited by Garrix; 08-10-2005 at 02:46 AM.
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  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by lynnlynn7
    Hang in there, real love will come and find you when you aren't looking for it.
    No, it won't.

  20. #20
    Senior Member Sensei's Avatar
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    You know what the problem is with men today? They talk far too much about their feelings... Get over yourself! Get out and do something - anything! Read a book, see a movie, eat at a nice restaurant, travel, work, experience things outside of a computer or classroom!

    Develop confidence that comes with experience and accomplishments, not "understanding your feelings". If you do, you will have more to share and women will respect you for it.

  21. #21
    Fury Divine RickTheDestroyer's Avatar
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    Brawl man...
    I was so looking forward to your advice on this one, and although it was basically exacly right and the best advice that could be given, I sure was hoping for you to give him one last piece of advice...
    You know- where you tell him to throw it in five of her best friends and then throw it in her mom and sister and tape it and send it to her for good measure.
    That **** cracks me up to no end.
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  22. #22
    WBBs motivational Speaker Rock's Avatar
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    Brawls my man! hehehe crazy cowboy
    A big thanks to all my friends in the USA, I am deeply grateful for your hospitality and kindness.

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Brawl
    Just dont let your new woman meet Chase or Hatred ... my woman almost dumped me until I told her those two were sleeping together.
    First time in a long while I saw something and wanted to quote it in my sig. Well done!

  24. #24
    Wannabebig New Member
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    Hey Denim ... every once in a while I dont want to sound like a total jack-off .

    I do recommend what you did say about her 5 friends and her mom and sister . I have too much respect for women to think of that .


    Rock ... I'm still gonna take up that collection for next year bro .You will be at the Arnold .
    Give me your broken , give me your beaten ... I will build them up , I will lead them ... to the threshhold . Make you stronger , make you believe .

  25. #25
    WBBs motivational Speaker Rock's Avatar
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    I will be at the rock, no I ment the Arnold, and were gonna have blast.

    But I only got money for one usa trip, how should I organize it, oh well, not gonna hijack this thread.

    I just got laid and I love you guys.
    A big thanks to all my friends in the USA, I am deeply grateful for your hospitality and kindness.

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