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Thread: The Long Road

  1. #76
    There may be hope yet. JustinASU's Avatar
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    It's been damn near 6 weeks since the accident. I got my cast off Wednesday. I hurt in so many places. I have a relatively severe case of Post Concussion Syndrome and I'm in the middle of PCT. I vomit a couple of times a week and I can't eat. I'm down about 20 lbs since before the accident. Pre-accident I was about 260 @ 17% bf. Currently about 240 @ 15% bf. I typically get 1500 cals a day at about 150 gr protein. My strength has all but left me. Doc says don't touch a weight for 2 more weeks. My hand is still healing. What the **** does this doctor know? He couldn't even think of an anti nausea med to perscribe to me for my PCS, my wife had to suggest it. He said I didn't need physical therapy either--what a ****nut. When I told him I powerlift as a hobby he said "Powerlifting scares me". This ******* scares me--I'm putting my trust and my health in his hands and he doesn't know what to do.

    SO I did what any level minded lifter would do. I went to the gym tonight. Get off my ****ing back--I wore a wrist brace *******s. Pushing 185 on the bench was like pushing 315 pre accident. A tear rolls down my face--not really. I guess I expected this. Early in 2005 I lost 35 lbs because of stomach surgery. I built back up from 215 to 260 with only 2-3% bf gain. And now, God has decided to smite me again. 2005 was a trying year for me. And 2006 is proving to be worse. The road to recovery for my hormones AND my injuries, is a long one. I used for 9 months--I'm a ****ing ******, but my hard work showed through and through, so **** you for judging me. Now I have the setback of my life. If I can pull through this, I can pull through ANY****ingTHING. I got get my natty test rolling again--that is priority number one. It's stalling, but I will pull through. I plan on having blood work in 8-10 weeks. Next priority is to conquer the pain and the nausea--not to mention the severe anxiety. My dysmorphia is at terrible heights right now. I plan my clothes around what covers me the most--no matter how hot I am. Just because I choose to strength train doesn't mean I'm not vain and insecure.

    I will grow some balls again (literally...) and I will stop this nausea in it's tracks. I'm determined. Not to say I'm not scared ****less, but I'm dead set in my path, nonetheless.

    I'll need support--that's why I post here. Perhaps a few old friends will trickle back into journal land and see my posts.

    That's all I got right now. I'm always open to advice and words, whether they are kind or mocking.
    Credulous at best
    Your desire to believe in
    Angels in the hearts of men.
    But pull your head on out of your hippie haze
    And give a listen
    Shouldn't have to say it all again

  2. #77
    Push powerlifting heathj's Avatar
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    well glad that you're back to lifting! i would get some other referrals from other doctors to see what you should be doing...maybe you can get some pain meds from them.

    i just am back to lifting after 3 weeks off from pneumonia so i'm kinda in your shoes. right when i was getting the best strength i've ever had, bam!

    good luck getting that strength back, it'll come...

  3. #78
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    Slow and easy is proberly the way to go and i would definatly get a second and third opinion
    my journal
    http://www.wannabebigforums.com/showthread.php?t=68545

    weight 202 - (bf around 14%)
    PR's
    Bench - 286
    deadlift - new pr on the 23/12/06 190 kilo (430 pound)
    squat - 264 ATF

    Goals

    200 pound at 10% bf by next summer

  4. #79
    WBB Team Captain Coke's Avatar
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    Glad to see you on the mend however slow you think it is, time is the key here - you need patience...muscle memory is your friend and don't forget it, chances are you'll be bigger than ever down the road. I always love your rants, you are killer bro and have had me rolling a few times in the past with your wry and even self-deprecating humor.
    Last edited by Coke; 01-21-2006 at 07:53 AM.

  5. #80
    Do that voodoo that he do
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    Good to see you back, big dawg.

    I would err on the side of caution as far as lifting goes, mang. Fresh out of a cast is not the time to put a bar in your hands. It takes a few weeks for the musculature of the casted part to regain strength and for the new bone to harden. That's why they take the cast off a couple of weeks before you're actually "healed".

    I know you want to get back to it, but I don't want to see you ****ing yourself up worse along the way. You've got what it takes to succeed in this game, just do it in the most efficient manner. Look at it just like congugate periodization: Sometimes you need a full deload, even if you've planned your cycles well. You don't want to deload, but sometimes a deload lets you go a lot further. You're in the same situation, albeit different circumstances.
    Be a man. Be awesome at it. Be proud of it. Beyond the Barbell

    "Borris is correct. That sounds logical if you ask me."
    -galileo

  6. #81
    There may be hope yet. JustinASU's Avatar
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    Heath Sorry to hear about the illness, bro. This kind of **** always seems to happen at the peak of the game, no?

    HILL I intend to...

    CoCoa It takes talent to be as self loathing and hateful as I truely am--thanks.

    Isaac Yeah a full deload is one thing, but an 8 week deload is asking for atrophy and misery. BTW check your PMs.
    Credulous at best
    Your desire to believe in
    Angels in the hearts of men.
    But pull your head on out of your hippie haze
    And give a listen
    Shouldn't have to say it all again

  7. #82
    HomeYield WillKuenzel's Avatar
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    Congratulations, you're fully on the path to permantently hurting yourself.

    My advice, find a doctor that will refer you to a physical therapist or start doing a lot of reading. Now is not the time to be lifting heavy, in any way shape or form. You have the oppurtunity to start from scratch and learn but if you are going to stubborn and put yourself in a worse situation, that's your choice.
    What is elite?
    "Those who work the hardest often complain the least." -anonymous
    Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.

  8. #83
    Still Plugging Away -TIM-'s Avatar
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    It's good to see a post in your journal, even if it's not a workout. Take care of yourself Justin and don't set yourself back even more by overdoing it. That's probably the toughest thing you will have to deal with mentally, but you can do it if you make up your mind to take control of the situation. Stay strong bro .
    Best way to cheat on deadlifts...

    Stand there for a few minutes, then pace back and forth a lot, huff and puff, wait until everybody's looking. Approach the bar. Back off. Approach it again. Back off. Get some water. Chalk up. Approach the bar again. Then spray some more chalk around. Wait until people start losing interest. When nobody's looking, pick it a little off the floor, and slam it down. Jump up and yell "LIGHT WEIGHT BABY". Then give high fives all around. - Belial

  9. #84
    There may be hope yet. JustinASU's Avatar
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    Thanks for the welcome back guys. It feels good to be back in the gym, even if I'm not putting up phenominal numbers these days.

    Will - no offense, bro, but I am starting to know my body and I am by no means lifting beyond my limits right now.

    So after all is said and done, I have not lost as much as I thought. My weight is holding steady at 245 lbs with 15-16% bf (guesstimated). I still wear a wrist brace when I lift (esp. on the upper days). The only pain I get these days is from benching and I haven't gone beyond a 205 lb bench since getting back in the game. Considering I was out of the gym for 7-8 weeks and I was in PCT for a good part of that, I made out rather well.

    I can't say whether or not my natty test is back in me yet. I would say not 100% based on a) the limited timeframe and b) my libido is still dead...then again perhaps being a walking hardon 24/7 for the last 10 months has something to do with my perceived loss of libido. When you're used to the power of synthetic test in your pants, a normal libido is nothing. Luckily I'm married, so any temporary problems will not be the death of me . I hit up a leg workout yesterday - it wasn't half bad. It looked a little something like this:

    Deep Squats:
    barx20
    135x12
    185x10
    225x10
    275x8
    315x6
    365x3
    385x3
    405x3
    425x3
    425x3

    Romanian Deadlifts - these are new to me and my grip is not what it was, so I kept these light
    135x12
    185x10
    225x10
    225x10
    225x10
    225x10

    I rounded it off with some heavy upright rows.

    I know I'm not as big as I was while on based on the number on the scale and the fit in my clothes, but at the same time, I'm proud of what I have been able to hold onto thus far. I pray that I continue to hold on to the mass I have left.

    For a while, powerlifting style of lifting is out. My workouts will have a more bodybuilding focus to induce hypertrophy again and focus on lighter weights for recovery.

    After a hellava stint with Post Concussion Syndrome, my appetite seems normal again (by normal I mean 4000-5000 cals is not a challenge).

    I have a lot of inner demons I'm still dealing with in regards to anxiety, much of which I can safely say I picked up while being on cycle, and got worse post cycle; but I'm slowly working to overturn this ****.

    I will return to posting my workouts regularly, but they are reduced in frequency these days. Plus, the weights are all so pathetic, so bear with me while I work on recovering before getting strong again.
    Credulous at best
    Your desire to believe in
    Angels in the hearts of men.
    But pull your head on out of your hippie haze
    And give a listen
    Shouldn't have to say it all again

  10. #85
    WBB Team Captain Coke's Avatar
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    Super deep squats, U kept much strength there...awesome you're maintaining mass after the setback.
    Last edited by Coke; 02-08-2006 at 05:01 AM.

  11. #86
    Do that voodoo that he do
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    Nice job on the weights, big fella. Remember, slow and easy when you come back. Now that you're mostly out of the PCT woods you'll have much less to worry about atrophy. Keep things light and under control and you won't have to worry about losing anything while you're still healing up. Get your diet in line (which it sounds like you're doing), get your rest under control, keep the training light, and really focus on your flexibility and correcting your imbalances.

    Keep easing along until you're 100%. There's no reason to jump the gun and start from anything less than that. You're in this for the long haul.
    Be a man. Be awesome at it. Be proud of it. Beyond the Barbell

    "Borris is correct. That sounds logical if you ask me."
    -galileo

  12. #87
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    Workout is dam impressive in my opinion considering everything else
    my journal
    http://www.wannabebigforums.com/showthread.php?t=68545

    weight 202 - (bf around 14%)
    PR's
    Bench - 286
    deadlift - new pr on the 23/12/06 190 kilo (430 pound)
    squat - 264 ATF

    Goals

    200 pound at 10% bf by next summer

  13. #88
    There may be hope yet. JustinASU's Avatar
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    CoCoa Thanks bro. I was suprise I was able to push those weights because previous to the car accident, I couldn't squat much past 315 without pain in my lower back. My LB certainly tightened, but no bad pain.

    Isaac Your words of encouragement are wonderful to hear. I can't sat 100% whether or not I'm 'mostly out of the PCT woods' since my libido is still nonexistant. I can say I'm maintaining my bodyweight in the mid 240's which is always a good sign. I be taking it easy with lighter weights and higher reps. I need to kick back in 20 min of stretching everyday too.

    HILL Thanks, mang.


    Well I am eating again--that's for sure, but I also seem to be piling back on the bodyfat. Regardless of whether I consider myself a bodybuilder or a powerlifter, I do not want to be carrying around 20% bodyfat--it's useless in my opinion. I don't see a reason to drop lower than 12% either, but I am racking up BF again now that I am eating. I know I can clean up my diet--pizza, gatorade, and mexican are some of my mainstays. I dunno if I am capable of eating clean anymore without gagging on every bite. I miss my superior nutrient partitioning

    Trying to hit upper body up tonight...
    Credulous at best
    Your desire to believe in
    Angels in the hearts of men.
    But pull your head on out of your hippie haze
    And give a listen
    Shouldn't have to say it all again

  14. #89
    Still Plugging Away -TIM-'s Avatar
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    Good luck on tonight's workout Justin. Your leg session looked pretty good considering your recent set backs. Keep it up.
    Best way to cheat on deadlifts...

    Stand there for a few minutes, then pace back and forth a lot, huff and puff, wait until everybody's looking. Approach the bar. Back off. Approach it again. Back off. Get some water. Chalk up. Approach the bar again. Then spray some more chalk around. Wait until people start losing interest. When nobody's looking, pick it a little off the floor, and slam it down. Jump up and yell "LIGHT WEIGHT BABY". Then give high fives all around. - Belial

  15. #90
    Re-Dedicated midee1's Avatar
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    Been a long time since I've been around and I must say. Dayum you've had some rough times as of late. Glad to see ya back into it albeit in some pain. Consider yourself lucky that you were not hurt worse.
    Here we go again!

    "I've seen yer mug. Eeeeeeesh gotta feed ya with teh slingshot!"....Mik in reference to clvmike19

  16. #91
    Fury Divine RickTheDestroyer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JustinASU
    Deep Squats:
    315x6
    365x3
    385x3
    405x3
    425x3
    425x3

    My workouts will ...focus on lighter weights for recovery.
    **** you.
    530S/320B/475D
    With strength I burn

  17. #92
    There may be hope yet. JustinASU's Avatar
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    Don't post much these days, not that anyone cares. Thought I'd throw up an update. I have officially been "off" for a little over 8 weeks. Being off is not as bad as I thought it'd be. I never really crashed, but at the same time, I have not recovered fully (which scares the **** out of me). Body weight did not suffer to much. In fact, today I weighed in at a solid 248.5. My body fat is getting uncomfortably high, so a cut may soon be in order.

    In regards to strength: I really hit my groove recently in squats. I have been adding weight to my squat like never before. My previous PR was 600 to parallel. Before the accident I could barely box squat 425 lbs. Afterwards I couldnt squat ****. Last week I box squatted 485 without a hitch. My deadlift is coming back up too. I pulled a solid 555 last week, which is creeping up on my 600 deadlift PR. Unfortunately I still cannot bench or do any pushing moves for ****. I did manage a 335 pin press today, which suprised me, but it used to be so much stronger. All the same, I am doing it natural and after a major injury, so I am proud of myself. My wife wants me to never touch a steroid again. I told her I wouldn't but I know by Christmas (when I'm 110% recovered) I'll be aching for some test. I gotta figure out what to do. Any of you long time users who are married have any suggestions?

    My goal this year is to push myself farther than I've ver gone naturally or assisted, except this time I'm doin it all natty, baby. I want a 650 b deadlift, 600 box squat, and 400 bench this year. I know I can do it if I push myself hard. It's gonna be tough without the added hormones, as I know I am nearing my natural potential, but stay tuned and we shall see.
    Credulous at best
    Your desire to believe in
    Angels in the hearts of men.
    But pull your head on out of your hippie haze
    And give a listen
    Shouldn't have to say it all again

  18. #93
    Go Heels! MixmasterNash's Avatar
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    You're still god damned strong, but its the fact that you're getting stronger that is most impressive.

    The journal / I live here.

    If I were to start from scratch as a young 13 year old again, I would do every press, squat, and perhaps deadlifts, for my entire career with chains. -- Dan John

  19. #94
    WBB Team Captain Coke's Avatar
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    Muscle memory is your friend. You've worked so hard in the past - I'm not surprised you are making these strides.
    Last edited by Coke; 03-19-2006 at 11:32 AM.

  20. #95
    Breaker of Skulls Guido's Avatar
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    Just like Lance Armstrong, sometimes when we've hit our lowest points, that's when we come back with a stronger determination that helps us get to higher points than we ever would have imagined previously.

    I don't see you hitting your natural potential yet. In fact, you may be just now tapping into what that potential might be. Stick with it for a while and you may just surprise yourself.
    5'9" 195 lbs
    DL 600x1
    SQ 490x1 (raw)
    BP 430x1 (shirted), 320x1 (raw)
    SN 209x1 C+J 250x1


    My Training Journal
    www.illinipowerlifting.org

    "Most people don't want to learn new things. They only want to hear about things that validate crap they're already doing." - Mike Boyle

  21. #96
    Fury Divine RickTheDestroyer's Avatar
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    Justin-bo-bustin,
    The Gabester said you might be rolling back up into town soon... you'd best be making a stop by Rick's House of Asscrushing or else.
    Plus you can laugh at me while I live on shakes, tuna, fish oil, and green tea.
    I'm glad you're feeling big and strong, *******.
    530S/320B/475D
    With strength I burn

  22. #97
    There may be hope yet. JustinASU's Avatar
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    I'm just now really getting back into things. I am at a new gym. It's a commercial meatmarket hell. Luckily, Isaac and Will train there, so if I'm lucky I might catch one of those fools. There are some BIG boys in the gym. They make my 240 lb frame look smallish. Unfortunately, not a one of them squats or deadlifts. The few I DO see squatting are doing quarter squats and rounding their backs. My strength is not what it used to be. Lowered testosterone and all my injuries have taken quite a toll. I can't continue to use those excuses forever though. It's partially my fault. I have no structure to my lifting routine. I have dropped dynamic days altogether. I stopped recording my lifts. As a result, my lifts have all taken a nose dive. It's tough when I can't say that I'm the strongest I've ever been today. Regardless, with a few pointers from the ambiguously gay duo, I am getting my form back on track. I just went in for a nice easy leg day today. Squats are so much more difficult than they used to be.

    Below Parallel medium-wide stance squats
    barx10
    135x10
    185x6
    225x6
    275x5
    315x5
    405x2
    405x2
    405x2

    High bar Oly ATF squats
    225x10

    Light GMs (working on hamstring flexibility and lower back endurance)
    135x10
    185x10
    185x10
    185x10
    185x10
    185x10
    185x10

    HS Shrugs
    3ppsx12
    4ppsx10
    5ppsx8
    5ppsx8
    5ppsx8
    5ppsx8

    That's all for now. I'm a bit ashamed of my poundages, but the past few months have taught me to be humble.
    Last edited by JustinASU; 04-29-2006 at 05:25 PM.
    Credulous at best
    Your desire to believe in
    Angels in the hearts of men.
    But pull your head on out of your hippie haze
    And give a listen
    Shouldn't have to say it all again

  23. #98
    Still Plugging Away -TIM-'s Avatar
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    Good to hear from you Justin. I was just wondering yesterday how you've been doing. 405 isn't too shabby, and it only goes up from here.
    Best way to cheat on deadlifts...

    Stand there for a few minutes, then pace back and forth a lot, huff and puff, wait until everybody's looking. Approach the bar. Back off. Approach it again. Back off. Get some water. Chalk up. Approach the bar again. Then spray some more chalk around. Wait until people start losing interest. When nobody's looking, pick it a little off the floor, and slam it down. Jump up and yell "LIGHT WEIGHT BABY". Then give high fives all around. - Belial

  24. #99
    Senior Member KevinStarke's Avatar
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    Damn man awesome workout, thats a whooooole lotta GM's.

  25. #100
    There may be hope yet. JustinASU's Avatar
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    Thanks guys. And Kevin--my hamstrings were stinging for about 3 days afterwards. Stairs were suicide. Last night I did some upper and for once, attempted to add back in some Dyanmic effort bench. This is the first time I have done dyanmic effort since the car accident.

    DE Bench - done with 25 seconds rest between sets
    barx10

    Wide grips - pointer finger on rings
    135x3
    135x3
    135x3

    Medium grips - pinky on rings
    135x3
    135x3
    135x3

    Narrow grips - pointer fingers on smooth part of bar
    135x3
    135x3
    135x3

    I decided to then test my speed with a little more weight
    225x5
    245x4
    245x4
    245x4
    245x4

    **speed was terrible. I am absolutely adding back in my DE days

    BB Rows
    135x12
    185x10
    225x8
    225x8
    225x8
    225x8

    Tricep Pulldowns
    100x8
    100x8
    100x8
    100x8

    It wasn't a true DE day, but I'll be getting back to that soon. I hope by next week to be back on my old routine (standard westside) 2 days ME (upper, lower) and 2 days DE (Upper, Lower).
    Credulous at best
    Your desire to believe in
    Angels in the hearts of men.
    But pull your head on out of your hippie haze
    And give a listen
    Shouldn't have to say it all again

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