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Thread: For those who'll be visiting Detroit for the Super Bowl...

  1. #1
    fat and small Blood&Iron's Avatar
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    For those who'll be visiting Detroit for the Super Bowl...

    I've seen this circulating for awhile, but it's still funny...although maybe not as much if you're not from around Detroit.

    1. First, you must learn to pronounce the city name. It's Deh-troit. NOT DEE-troit. If you pronounce it DEE-Troit then we will assume you are from Toledo and here for the Auto Show.
    2. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Detroit has its own version of traffic rules... Hold on and pray!
    3. The morning rush hour is from 6:00 am to 10:00 am. The evening rush hour is from 3:00 pm to 7:00 pm. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning. Weekends are open game.
    4. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear-ended, cussed out and possibly shot. If you're first off the starting line when the light turns green, count to five before going across the intersection. This will avoid getting in the way of cross-traffic who just ran their yellow light to keep from getting shot.
    5. Schoenherr can ONLY be properly pronounced by a native of the Detroit metro area. That goes for Gratiot too.
    6. Construction and renovation on I-94, I-96, I-75, I-275, I-375, The Lodge and The Southfield Freeways are a way of life and forever. Just deal with it.
    7. If someone actually has their turn signal on, it is probably a factory defect or they are from Canada!
    8. All old men (or women) with white hair wearing a hat have total right-of-way.
    9. The minimum acceptable speed on I-696 and I-275 is 85 regardless of the posted speeds. Anything less is considered downright SISSY. Oh!, and don't even think of allowing more than one car length between cars!
    10. That attractive wrought iron on the windows and doors in Detroit is NOT ornamental. DO NOT get out of your car to take pictures.
    11. Never stare at the driver of the car with the bumper sticker that says "Keep honking, I'm reloading", he/she is.
    12. If you are in the left lane, and only going 70 in a 60 mph zone, people are not waving because they are so friendly in Detroit. I would suggest you duck.
    13. I-275 and I-696 is our daily version of NASCAR
    14. It's not M-10, it's "the Lodge"
    15. That's not a lake, it's a pothole.
    16. If someone tells you it's on Outer Drive, you better hope you have a map.
    17. The Michigan left turn is simple. If you want to turn left, go a 1/4 of a mile past your turn, get to the left, then make a left, then make another left, then make a right when you get back to the intersection where you wanted to turn left in the first place. NOW you have gone left.
    18. And those 2 really ugly arches over Telegraph Road???? DON'T EVEN ASK!! WE DON'T HAVE A CLUE!!!!!

    >WELCOME, ENJOY YOUR STAY, BUT AVOID EYE-CONTACT WITH THE LOCALS
    Last edited by Blood&Iron; 12-25-2005 at 09:25 PM.

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    Super Mastah Mod rookiebldr's Avatar
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    Yep, now I know why I cross the border at Buffalo.

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    Go Heels! MixmasterNash's Avatar
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    Eh, Michigan is a wannabe New Jersey. Newark and Trenton got 50 years of urban decay on you upstarts in Dutoit.

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    II MrWebb78's Avatar
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    I wonder who really has the most agressive traffic areas.
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    Banned spencerjrus's Avatar
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    Do people in the midwest/on the east coast actually think they have worse drivers than the west coast?

    I have seen someone make a full stop at a green light in a 55 zone, twice.

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    still dislikes Art Atwood Hatred's Avatar
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    Dude, Cali's drivers are the worst ever.
    I thought Ohio was bad. I was horribly horribly mistaken.
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    9. The minimum acceptable speed on I-696 and I-275 is 85 regardless of the posted speeds. Anything less is considered downright SISSY. Oh!, and don't even think of allowing more than one car length between cars!


    So true.

  8. #8
    In China tigo's Avatar
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    LA has the worse traffic in the world.
    took me 4 hours to get out from downtown LA
    I don't have time. I make time.

  9. #9
    Wannabe Rick James Genacide's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blood&Iron
    3. The morning rush hour is from 6:00 am to 10:00 am. The evening rush hour is from 3:00 pm to 7:00 pm. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning. Weekends are open game.
    This is very true, the best time to be on the roads in Detroit is 11:00 AM as many times I have been stuck in traffic.
    "Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." -- Benjamin Franklin

  10. #10
    Go Heels! MixmasterNash's Avatar
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    Having driven in almost every major city in the U.S., and lived in major cities on both coasts, I think I can safely say that American drivers suck period. Each city's drivers suck in unique and special ways. In the Northeast, drivers are aggressive to the point of vengance; in the South, they simply don't care about safety and are generally clueless; on the West coast, everyone is distracted.

    I have to give Washington DC a special prize though. To paraphrase an old saying, the drivers have the politeness of the North and the competance of the South, along with crumbling 50 year old infrastructure, massive runaway growth in population, and idiotic traffic enforcement.

    The journal / I live here.

    If I were to start from scratch as a young 13 year old again, I would do every press, squat, and perhaps deadlifts, for my entire career with chains. -- Dan John

  11. #11
    Bear Grylls Jr. stallion's Avatar
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    I live and drive in NYC, but the worst drivers I have ever encountered BY FAR were from Joizey. Dudes are downright daredevil homicides-waiting-to-happen.

  12. #12
    Pain in the Ass Allie's Avatar
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    M 39 (AKA The Southfield) is a 55 MPH that means you drive at least 80 or you will cause an accident!

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    Banned David's Avatar
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    I'm looking forward to the superbowl this year.

    I'm not too far from Detroit myself. There are some awesome restaurants there, especially in Greektown, so if you're ever in the area, check out Fishbones. Or check out the MGM Grand casino and win some money.

    Just stay the hell away from me.

  14. #14
    Pain in the Ass Allie's Avatar
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    We always go to Pegasys... all I have to say is order some saganaki

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    Senior Member shootermcgavin7's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hatred
    Dude, Cali's drivers are the worst ever..
    Have you ever driven in Atlanta?
















    That said - I've come close to being run over at 80 MPH on a cobblestone side street in Eastern Europe. I think nutjob drivers exist everywhere.

  16. #16
    Combat Infantryman
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    Quote Originally Posted by TripleP
    I'm looking forward to the superbowl this year.

    I'm not too far from Detroit myself. There are some awesome restaurants there, especially in Greektown, so if you're ever in the area, check out Fishbones. Or check out the MGM Grand casino and win some money.

    Just stay the hell away from me.
    Yeah I just can't wait for this all to be done with so all the tourists GTFO and they stop fixing every little cosmetic thing on the roads.

  17. #17
    Senior Member Wolverine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blood&Iron
    18. And those 2 really ugly arches over Telegraph Road???? DON'T EVEN ASK!! WE DON'T HAVE A CLUE!!!!!

    >WELCOME, ENJOY YOUR STAY, BUT AVOID EYE-CONTACT WITH THE LOCALS
    Those stupid f'n arches have delayed my daily commute for two years!!!
    When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, looks you crooked in the eye and asks you if ya paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol' Jack Burton always says at a time like that: "Have ya paid your dues, Jack?" "Yessir, the check is in the mail."

    Jack Burton - Owner of the Pork Chop Express

  18. #18
    Wannabe Rick James Genacide's Avatar
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    I use to drive into Detroit every week for over 3 years, where on Telegraph are these arches?
    "Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." -- Benjamin Franklin

  19. #19
    Senior Member Meat_Head's Avatar
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    What idiot picked Detroit?! No offense man... but who would want to go THERE?
    Squat...Eat...Sleep...Grow...Repeat

  20. #20
    Wannabe Rick James Genacide's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by xMeat_Headx
    What idiot picked Detroit?! No offense man... but who would want to go THERE?
    People looking for cheap drugs and even cheaper Ho's.
    "Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." -- Benjamin Franklin

  21. #21
    Combat Infantryman
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    Quote Originally Posted by Genacide
    I use to drive into Detroit every week for over 3 years, where on Telegraph are these arches?

    Right on I-94 heading east towards Detroit.

  22. #22
    mrelwooddowd Patz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MixmasterNash
    Having driven in almost every major city in the U.S., and lived in major cities on both coasts, I think I can safely say that American drivers suck period. Each city's drivers suck in unique and special ways. In the Northeast, drivers are aggressive to the point of vengance; in the South, they simply don't care about safety and are generally clueless; on the West coast, everyone is distracted.

    I have to give Washington DC a special prize though. To paraphrase an old saying, the drivers have the politeness of the North and the competance of the South, along with crumbling 50 year old infrastructure, massive runaway growth in population, and idiotic traffic enforcement.
    It doesn't get any more accurate than this. Baltimore is exactly the same, but then again it's all the same people.

    Shooter: I don't find Atlanta too awful. People drive REALLY fast, but I'd guess 75% of them use turn signals correctly and are semi-curteous as they're cutting you off. The interstates are clean, paved well, and laid out well. If one can keep all the peachtree road, blvd, avenue, peachtree industrial north and south, etc. straight, one will do fine in Atlanta.
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  23. #23
    Beefcake razorcut's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mrelwooddowd
    If one can keep all the peachtree road, blvd, avenue, peachtree industrial north and south, etc. straight, one will do fine in Atlanta.
    Much, much easier said than done.
    I know you're half-crazy, but I wish you'd go all the way.

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