The Five Biggest Contradictions in Fitness
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The Five Biggest Contradictions in Fitness

Itís no secret that when people contradict themselves, it has the effect of making the flaws in their actions or statements seem glaringly obvious. But what about when WE ourselves get caught contradicting ourselves by someone else?

By: Nick Tumminello Added: January 6th, 2014
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  1. #1
    Senior Member dblockspky's Avatar
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    need help explaining weightloss to woman

    so my gf keeps complaining. she's one of those people that wants to give up on weightloss because she thinks it's not possible because of how her body is shaped. she's tried dieting or whatever which I think she could of probably been more strict on but she says it didn't work. i can just look at her and tell she has a decent amount of mass from muscle. her legs are diesel and she's strong as hell and no she doesn't look like a guy. but she also has fat that she wants to get rid of in the stomach, ass and upper leg regions. and I told her anybody can lose weight its not impossible. but then she told me its useless because of the muscle she has so even after she loses the fat she won't be able to get down to the size she wants because she'd be too big. but i know there's a way to work around this i read some article before about how an actor had to do it... gained 15-20 pounds of muscle for a movie then the next he had to be skinny so he couldn't look so jacked, it may not be the best example but you get the point. anyways I'm just lookin to see somebody elses point of view on this and simple advice i can give her cuz I think I get to technical when I talk about it cuz its something I feel very passionate about. we've been together for almost 2 years so i guess shes starting to feel like how the typical like wife or whatever is stereoptyped as and wondering if she's too big or not and constantly asking me how I feel. and she says it makes it even worse that I go to the gym all the time and call myself fat.. thats just my way of motivating myself cuz I want the perfect stomach eventually.. but she says that doesn't help. I don't do it on purpose though. anyway, suggestions?

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  3. #2
    Senior Member Sensei's Avatar
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    Here's the advice I'd give her: ... Ummm, wait. What was the question again?
    A child does not learn to squat from the top down. In other words, he does not suddenly make a conscious decision one day to squat. Actually, he is squatting one day and make the conscious decision to stand. Squatting precedes standing in the developmental sequence. This is the way a child's brain learns to use the body as the child develops movement patterns. Therefore, a child is probably crawling, rocks back into a squatting position with the back completely relaxed and the hips completely flexed, and stands when he has enough hip strength. This approach makes a lot of sense and can be applied to relearning the deep squat movement if it is lost. -Gray Cook
    Lifting Clips: http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=johnnymnemonic2
    Blog: http://squatrx.blogspot.com/

  4. #3
    Senior Member dblockspky's Avatar
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    lol sorry i was rambling..
    not necessarily best way to go about weightloss
    but exactly how can I explain that anybody can lose weight no matter what the body type. and specific to the situation a person that also has muscle but wants to be skinny.
    Last edited by dblockspky; 09-27-2006 at 08:50 PM.

  5. #4
    Senior Member Sensei's Avatar
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    My advice would be to not discuss weightloss with a woman who doesn't seem to invested in the prospect of it.
    A child does not learn to squat from the top down. In other words, he does not suddenly make a conscious decision one day to squat. Actually, he is squatting one day and make the conscious decision to stand. Squatting precedes standing in the developmental sequence. This is the way a child's brain learns to use the body as the child develops movement patterns. Therefore, a child is probably crawling, rocks back into a squatting position with the back completely relaxed and the hips completely flexed, and stands when he has enough hip strength. This approach makes a lot of sense and can be applied to relearning the deep squat movement if it is lost. -Gray Cook
    Lifting Clips: http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=johnnymnemonic2
    Blog: http://squatrx.blogspot.com/

  6. #5
    Senior Member dblockspky's Avatar
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    sooo true. which is why i would give that advice myself to others.. the problem is, she brings up the topic. and i can't just say shut up i don't wanna talk about your problems

  7. #6
    Senior Member Sensei's Avatar
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    How about replying with "You look great the way you are baby."?
    A child does not learn to squat from the top down. In other words, he does not suddenly make a conscious decision one day to squat. Actually, he is squatting one day and make the conscious decision to stand. Squatting precedes standing in the developmental sequence. This is the way a child's brain learns to use the body as the child develops movement patterns. Therefore, a child is probably crawling, rocks back into a squatting position with the back completely relaxed and the hips completely flexed, and stands when he has enough hip strength. This approach makes a lot of sense and can be applied to relearning the deep squat movement if it is lost. -Gray Cook
    Lifting Clips: http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=johnnymnemonic2
    Blog: http://squatrx.blogspot.com/

  8. #7
    Senior Member Sensei's Avatar
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    I guess you could explain that if you take in less calories than you burn, you will lose weight. My guess is that you have already said that and even if you haven't, it won't have any impact...
    A child does not learn to squat from the top down. In other words, he does not suddenly make a conscious decision one day to squat. Actually, he is squatting one day and make the conscious decision to stand. Squatting precedes standing in the developmental sequence. This is the way a child's brain learns to use the body as the child develops movement patterns. Therefore, a child is probably crawling, rocks back into a squatting position with the back completely relaxed and the hips completely flexed, and stands when he has enough hip strength. This approach makes a lot of sense and can be applied to relearning the deep squat movement if it is lost. -Gray Cook
    Lifting Clips: http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=johnnymnemonic2
    Blog: http://squatrx.blogspot.com/

  9. #8
    Senior Member beatlesfreak's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dblockspky
    lol sorry i was rambling..
    not necessarily best way to go about weightloss
    but exactly how can I explain that anybody can lose weight no matter what the body type. and specific to the situation a person that also has muscle but wants to be skinny.
    Dude, discussing weight issues with your GF? You are playing with fire.

    Be verrrry careful.

  10. #9
    Senior Member dblockspky's Avatar
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    yea i've told her she looks good how she is and all that and the way she looked isn't really why i got together with her in the first place.

    yea i told her that too. i said blah blah blah you're human and unless you have some type of disorder than you can lose weight just like anybody else. if you cut out 3500 calories from the intake you need to maintain weight then you will lose a pound. its not like just because you have big hips or something you have to lose 5000 calories to lose a pound, every one is the same. as far as physical appearance maybe the changes won't look as drastic as anothers at first, but on the scale the numbers will go down the same amount.

    Quote Originally Posted by beatlesfreak
    Dude, discussing weight issues with your GF? You are playing with fire.

    Be verrrry careful.
    lol yea i know. it's hard cuz there's certain things you can't say. but like i've said we've been together for almost two years so its not as sensitive an issue as it is for some others

  11. #10
    Senior Member Sensei's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dblockspky
    lol yea i know. it's hard cuz there's certain things you can't say. but like i've said we've been together for almost two years so its not as sensitive an issue as it is for some others
    Oh my.... You still have a lot to learn...
    A child does not learn to squat from the top down. In other words, he does not suddenly make a conscious decision one day to squat. Actually, he is squatting one day and make the conscious decision to stand. Squatting precedes standing in the developmental sequence. This is the way a child's brain learns to use the body as the child develops movement patterns. Therefore, a child is probably crawling, rocks back into a squatting position with the back completely relaxed and the hips completely flexed, and stands when he has enough hip strength. This approach makes a lot of sense and can be applied to relearning the deep squat movement if it is lost. -Gray Cook
    Lifting Clips: http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=johnnymnemonic2
    Blog: http://squatrx.blogspot.com/

  12. #11
    DeaTH BeFoRe WeaKNeSs sCaRz*Of*PaiN's Avatar
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    It's always a sensitive issue...
    "The only easy day was yesterday."

  13. #12
    There are no limits DaoineSidhe's Avatar
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    The answer you're looking for is: "I don't think you look fat; I think you have sexy curves".

    If she rolls her eyes at you, take a weekend to sit down with her to discuss what she's been eating lately and come up with a new plan. A little lifting will help her get to her goals faster while still keeping a great female shape.
    Age: 34
    Height: 5'5
    Weight: 195
    Body Fat: 30% (from an online measuring formula)
    Goal: get to 170, be 15% bf or lower, and to eat a healthier diet
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  14. #13
    Senior Member
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    Tell her not to bring it up unless she's serious about doing something about it. Tell her that if and when that time comes, you'll gladly help her accomplish her goals.

    Complaining and making excuses won't get her anywhere, and she shouldn't expect it to.
    Stats
    Age: 22 Height: 5'-8" Weight: 175 (6-10-07)
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  15. #14
    Just watch me ... Built's Avatar
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    I've got an article coming up in the next Get Built that deals with this issue. It should be posted up within a week.

  16. #15
    DeaTH BeFoRe WeaKNeSs sCaRz*Of*PaiN's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Built
    I've got an article coming up in the next Get Built that deals with this issue. It should be posted up within a week.
    I'll be eagerly awaiting the article.
    "The only easy day was yesterday."

  17. #16
    Senior Member deeder's Avatar
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    NEVER bring up diet or weightloss with a woman! It is the stupidest thing you can do other than sticking your head in a lion's mouth!

    If she brings it up, show her www.fitday.com, have her track EXACTLY what she eats for a week, weigh herself at the beginning and end of the week (preferably in the morning before she eats so it's consistent) and then explain the whole idea of cutting, maintenance or bulking and how to adjust calories accordingly.

    Then, show her pictures of Built And tell her that's why she should lift weights with you (That's how I got Kristen started!)
    Full Powerlifting
    Squat - 595lbs -- 270kg -- Dec. 31, '09 (Provincial Record @100kg class)
    Bench - 374lbs -- 170kg -- Dec 20, '08 (@100kg class)
    Dead - 589lbs -- 267.5kg -- Dec 20, '08 (Provincial Record @100kg class)
    Total: 1537lbs -- 697.5kg -- Dec 20, '08 (Provincial Record @ 100kg class)
    Bench Only -- 358lbs -- 162.5kg -- Nov. 25, '07 (Provincial Record @ 90kg class)
    Bench Only -- 376lbs -- 171kg -- Jan. 26, '08 (Provincial Record @ 100kg class)

  18. #17

  19. #18
    DeaTH BeFoRe WeaKNeSs sCaRz*Of*PaiN's Avatar
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    Yeah. I've also used Built's pics to encourage some of my female friends to start hitting the weights. After I tell them your age, their jaws drop.
    "The only easy day was yesterday."

  20. #19
    Occupational Hypnomania
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    Fat stored on body=Energy, not having enough energy because you ate to few calories in a day=body taking energy from fat and muscle, lifting weights while working out=taking more energy from fat rather than muscle due to bodies reliance on muscle.

    At least from what I understand this is the jist of it..
    Last edited by Turnip; 09-28-2006 at 12:55 AM.

  21. #20
    Senior Member deeder's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Built
    Deeder, that's so cool!
    I didn't have to go through the whole weightloss ordeal though... She's always been fit. But when I first found this site and I saw your "I'm not a guy" pics I had to show them to her.

    I was soooo psyched about it -- "KRISTEN! YOU HAVE TO START LIFTING WEIGHTS! CHECK THIS OUT!!!!" I definately got a smack on the back of the head but it worked out for the best
    Full Powerlifting
    Squat - 595lbs -- 270kg -- Dec. 31, '09 (Provincial Record @100kg class)
    Bench - 374lbs -- 170kg -- Dec 20, '08 (@100kg class)
    Dead - 589lbs -- 267.5kg -- Dec 20, '08 (Provincial Record @100kg class)
    Total: 1537lbs -- 697.5kg -- Dec 20, '08 (Provincial Record @ 100kg class)
    Bench Only -- 358lbs -- 162.5kg -- Nov. 25, '07 (Provincial Record @ 90kg class)
    Bench Only -- 376lbs -- 171kg -- Jan. 26, '08 (Provincial Record @ 100kg class)

  22. #21
    Take Two Ruffian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by deeder
    I didn't have to go through the whole weightloss ordeal though... She's always been fit. But when I first found this site and I saw your "I'm not a guy" pics I had to show them to her.

    I was soooo psyched about it -- "KRISTEN! YOU HAVE TO START LIFTING WEIGHTS! CHECK THIS OUT!!!!" I definately got a smack on the back of the head but it worked out for the best
    YEah he got a sharp one... Ive always putsed around with weights in schools, doing modified squats (explosive ones) to train for pole vaulting. It involved much less weight, but it was a faster movement. Anyways, Deeder was raving about Built and I had to admit, nice body so I decided to give it a shot. Never looked back since.

    That being said, OP. Just dont touch it. Ask her if shes serious about it but DONT MAKE ANY COMMENTS YOURSELF! That is not playing with fire, thats blowing a building up... In your face.... So, if she asks you waht you think just say "ITs not my body, I like you the way you are but if you are serious about wanting to change yourself then lets make sure we do this right". Women have a bit of a wrong view when it comes to loosing weight, the accepted normal is to do cardio and diet like a freak. However, most women dont understand that the scale doesnt matter. When I started working out last fall I weight 120 lbs at 5'7". Within 6 months I weighed 140 lbs and I look even smaller then I did before. I would recommend that you have her join this site, both myself and Built im sure would gladly help her out. HOwever, you HAVE to slowly wean her onto weights. Deeder had me doing a split which involved 2 days of full body weights and 3 days of cardio, after about a month of that I moved into an actual split for weights and then I began to make my own split. Its important you listen to what she likes and doesnt like, and TELL HER that you like the changes you see in her as she diets. Its going to be hard, especially if shes been brainwashed by society and the model's idea of dieting. The funny looks shes going to get from the other girls will drive her nuts until she starts lifting as much as some of the guys in the gym (which, might I say, FEELS DAMN GOOD) and then she'll realize that hey. This doesnt feel too bad!

    And I have to admit, it is pretty damn cool when your arms rival your boyfriends... AS mine do... Te he he.

    Anyways, good luck with it! Just always play the neutral character and say you love her the way she is if she asks. Deeder and I have been together for going on two and a half years but it will always be a sensitive issue because that is the way we women are. Just as you men are sensitive about hairloss and **** like that. Dont assume just because youve been together for a long time that it doesnt matter, take it from me; it ALWAYS matters.

    Oh, and dont make the mistake of pointing out every muscly girl in the gym and saying. See, now THAT is hot. That prompts a sharp smack across the back of the head or a punch in the chest, at the very least. And it definately doesnt work.....

    *Steps down from soapbox*
    Stats:
    Age: 22
    Height: 5' 5.5"
    Weight: 180 lbs
    Max lifts: Squat:320 lbs, Bench: 195 lbs, Deadlift: 290 lbs.
    Max Comp. Total: 805 lbs

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  23. #22
    Wannabebig Member
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    Never ever tell a girl: "I'm not with you because of how you look". I can't believe you got out of that one unscathed.

    Never discuss weightloss, unless she genuinely wants to know! But even then, I would probably find a trainer in the area that is knowledgable on the topic and let them discuss it with her. There are too many problems otherwise.

    Remember most people fail at this type of stuff also.

  24. #23
    Wannabebig Member
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    I've had the same issues with my gf. She's been so unhappy with her weight that it started to effect our relationship. That's when i stepped in and tried to help her. We started out simply like taking walks together and trying to order healthier items of the menu when we ate out. 3 months ago i discovered this site and i really got into lifting weights and eating clean. My gf started to notice changes on me and became motivated herself. She now works out 3-4 times a week and eats only clean foods. It basically took her a good 6 months to get to the point where she really wants to change.

    To sweeten the deal i told her that if she keeps up with her workouts and diet plan for 3 months i'd give her a 1000 dollar shopping spree at the local mall. I've never seen her more motivated. haha

  25. #24
    Chubbilicious. VikingWarlord's Avatar
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    1. That first post...grammar, punctuation, and capitalization are your friends. Learn to love them.

    2. Yeah, weight issues with women can be touchy. Rather than tell her she looks good, just ravage the hell out of her now and again. She'll get the point. Too often and she'll think you just want her for that, but find the right balance.

    3. If she's made it abundantly clear that she wants to lose weight, show her this place and tell her to learn from the badasses 'round these parts.

    4. Make sure she understands the difference between weight loss and fat loss. She'll learn to rely more on her mirror than her scale.

    There's a girl I know (and yes, I like a lot) that's been gaining interest in dropping some weight. She's seen the results I've been making and seems to genuinely want to learn more about it. She looks great but wants to get a "little less jiggly" as she puts it.
    Last edited by VikingWarlord; 09-28-2006 at 11:10 AM.
    If one person can do something, anyone can learn to do it.
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    There is no failure, only feedback.

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  26. #25
    http://www.grappling.com russianwol's Avatar
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    Ruffian: Girls like your rule!!! And the guy you are dating is a lucky SOB Keep up the good work! Fitness for life!
    Last edited by russianwol; 09-28-2006 at 01:06 PM.
    "If I were not Alexander, I should wish to be Diogenes." - Alexander The Great

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