The Five Biggest Contradictions in Fitness
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The Five Biggest Contradictions in Fitness

It’s no secret that when people contradict themselves, it has the effect of making the flaws in their actions or statements seem glaringly obvious. But what about when WE ourselves get caught contradicting ourselves by someone else?

By: Nick Tumminello Added: January 6th, 2014
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  1. #1
    Journalist galileo's Avatar
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    Galileo Figaro Magnifico!

    Welcome to My Journal

    In this journal I will include information about my diet, supplementation, training routine, sleep, and daily happenings in my life. I promise to update it every weekday without fail, I promise to never miss a workout and eat properly, and I promise to wash behind my ears.

    Before you call this an ordinary journal, realize that I am the weakest person in the universe and I am starting from virtual scratch. My progression should be an inspiration to everyone on this friggen site.

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Current Stats
    Age: 22
    Weight: 152lbs
    BF: Good enough.

    Desired Stats
    Age: 23
    Weight: 165
    BF: Holy crap, striations in my ass!

    Short-Term Goals
    Age: 23
    Weight: 162
    BF: Good Enough + 1-2lbs fat
    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Crappy Routine
    My crappy beginning again routine. One set warmup, one set to failure, HIT style. This will be performed 2 times a week, by me.

    squats or deadLifts (alternate) x20
    weightedDips x8-12
    weighedChins x8-12
    inclinePress x8-12
    dB Rows x8-12
    reverseThickBarCurls x8-12
    trapBarShrugs x8-12
    weightedCrunches x8-12
    sideBends x8-12

    My idea is to build the frame before the house. This will last throughout the duration of my first bulk. It worked before, it better work again.

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Crappy Diet
    I will post more on my crappy diet tomorrow when I have access.

    I am going for a 40c/30f/30p diet where each meal is in balance to keep my insulin normal. Then I will have a postWorkout shake with about 50g protein, 75g dextrose, and 2.5g creatine. Yes I have creatine. Shut up.

    Daily calories are around 2750 (+shake on workout days).

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Crappy Supplements
    I use a multiVitamin, 2g's of Vitamin C - yo, a B-100 deal, and a Vit-E Supa-Dupa Complex.

    I also own whey and some creatine monofriggenhydrate.

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Crappy Sleepy
    I beg the Gods of Slumber for 8 hours...PLEASE send me 8 hours a night!

    I will begin updating soon.

    The End
    Last edited by galileo; 04-28-2003 at 11:32 AM.

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  3. #2
    Mike Henley MonStar's Avatar
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    Haha I like the way that your journal looks man. Now just keep it up. Looking forward to seeing how the journal entries themselves are going to look.

    Again galileo good luck with your goals.

  4. #3
    Journalist galileo's Avatar
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    08.21.2002

    I. Mastication and Deglutition
    Daily Rating: ***** (4/5 stars, for the challenged)

    Food will be organized by title, kcalories, fat, carbs [fiber], and protein. You like that? Good. There's plenty more where that came from.

    mealOne
    I was out of eggs today so I had to go for a standby meal. The calories were low, but I didn't want to grab more carbs on the way out. I saw the fiber one and figured it would be a good start. On the back of the box they showed a picture with blueberries and I was like "Whoah! Blueberries! I have them!" Damn this was a good tasting cereal...I did not expect that. I'll try to have more eggs for tomorrow, but I don't know if I am ready to lay yet.

    60g of fiber one, 123, 2, 48 [28], 5
    8oz cool milky goodness, 80, 0, 13 [0], 8
    1oz blueberries, 16, 0, 4 [1], 0
    1 peach bluebunny yogurt, 80, 0, 14 [0], 6
    0.4oz almonds, 68, 6, 2 [1], 3
    Totals : 367, 7, 81 [30], 23
    Split : 18%, 57%, 25%

    mealTwo
    Everything was dead on for this meal. I hate this meal.

    2oz rolled oatmeal, 213, 4, 38 [6], 7
    8oz lactose-free skim milk, 80, 0, 13 [0], 8
    2oz blueberries, 32, 0, 4 [2], 0
    4oz tuna, 120, 1, 0 [0], 26
    1tbsp high lignin flax seed oil, 110, 11, 1 [1], 0
    Totals : 554, 16, 60 [8], 41
    Split : 28%, 40%, 32%

    mealThree
    Mmmmm.

    7oz fat free cottage cheese, 140, 0, 9 [0], 25
    4oz strawberries, 32, 0, 8 [3], 1
    1 brownberry whole wheat bagel, 210, 1, 44 [6], 9
    32g natural peanut butter, 200, 16, 7 [2], 7
    Totals : 582, 17, 67 [11], 41
    Split : 29%, 41%, 30%

    mealFour
    Let's just say I didn't write home.

    2 slices of 9-grain bread, 180, 2, 30 [6], 8
    2oz turkey, 60, 0, 2 [0], 11
    1 blue bunny yogurt, 80, 0, 14 [0], 6
    0.8oz almonds, 136, 11, 5 [2], 31
    Totals : 456, 14, 51 [8], 31
    Split : 30%, 41%, 29%

    mealFive
    What a pain in the ass to prepare.

    3oz chicken breast (a very tiny bit of salsa or season), 100, 1, 0 [0], 23
    3oz whole wheat pasta, 285, 2, 51 [9], 2
    0.5cup low sugar pasta sauce, 70, 3, 8 [2], 2
    1tbsp high lignin flax seed oil, 110, 1 [1], 0
    Totals : 565, 16, 60 [12], 38
    Split : 30%, 39%, 31%

    II. Training
    Daily Rating: *****
    This was my first real workout after a while. I had some stress and it's ridiculous how much muscle I've lost. I went from 8 chins with 35lbs to 8 with 5lb. Something is seriously wrong. The only difference here is I am not on a cutting diet right now. Since *adding* 1100 calories I've lost strength. I am like ass backwards. Maybe if I go down to like 100 calories a day, I'll hit 240lbs by the end of the year. Someone end my misery.

    Front Squat
    Warmup: 45lbs x8
    Working: 75lbsx10
    This was a very light weight but since this is the first time I've ever front squatted it was very awkward. I switched to backsquat because I didn't feel like re-adjusting my racks (pain in the ass) and ruining what could be a nice workout. My knees pop REALLY loud when my knees point out. When I tun my feet in a little it reduced to a soothing crackle. Anyhow, I just cleaned and pressed the weight onto me and then set it onto my safety racks when I was finished.

    Shrugs ala trapBar
    Warmup: 140lbsx8
    Working: 170lbsx12
    My hands gave out today and 170 was pretty easy. I got the full ROM which was important. I need a mirror in my training room so I can see how unbelievably attractive I am (and my ROM, as a bonus). I can close the Captain of Crush #1 no problem, but I can't hold 170lbs for more than 12 reps? Come on! I didn't fail this time, but it was still a decent work set.

    Dips
    Warmup: BWx8
    Workset: +5x12
    The last time I did weighted dips was in July. I did +55lbsx8. Kill me. I started off low on purpose, but I should be able to do about 30 dips with that weight. I did 1 (full) second positives and 2 second negatives. It felt good.

    Parallel Grip Chinups
    Warmup: BWx8
    Workset: +5x8
    The last rep was very deliberate. I hit the top but I slowly lowered myself down (5-10 seconds) and it felt perfect. Now if I could figure out a way for these to work something other than my arms and shoulders...

    Lateral Raises
    Warmup: 5lbsx10
    Workset: 15lbsx10
    I love these guys! I go in the bathroom and stare in the mirror when I do them. It's nice to see all of the muscles in my shoulder flex on the way up. It feels great to be a pussy.

    Incline Dumbell Press
    Warmup: 15lbsx10 (I didn't feel like changing my dumbells, assface)
    Workset:45lbsx11
    I felt this in my triceps and shoulders especially. Stabilizing the weight after going to failure on other excersizes can be tough. I was happy with this set.

    One Arm Dumbell Row
    Warmup: 25lbsx8 (Why did I warmup?)
    Workset: 45lbsx10 L,R
    I used Belial's advice and focused on pulling my elbow up to my side and it really worked. I need a focus point like that for all of my excersizes. The 45lbs felt heavy at the end of the workout, but I kept my form.

    It was a decent workout. I skipped my abs because I wanted to. I then drank an insane post workout drink which I'll detail at the rant. No goals as of yet, except 165 by October 31st.

    III. Slumber
    Daily Rating: *****
    I feel asleep around 8:00 and woke about 9:00. Went back to bed around 11:00 and slept broken a few hours and then lulled into rest until 5:45. My alarm was set for 6:00 so I woke up every 3 minutes until 6:00 anticipating the "BWAA BWAA BWAA BWAA BWAA BWAA BWAA BWAA"
    Total Sleep: 7-8 hours

    IV. Daily Rant
    I read on this site all about postworkout nutrition so I got excited. I drove 30 minutes out of my friggen way on the way home from work to get some dextrose from this wine joint. There is nothing near my apartment. I live in this friggen desolate run-down hick community. Why am I here? Maybe I am a desolate. Maybe I am a hick. I hate you. So I get the sugar and drive back to hicksburg and stop at a gas station to get orange juice (I live 15 minutes from a grocery store). $1.39 for 500mL of friggen orange juice. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT? I payed $1.50 for 2 gallons last month and just to save myself 40 minutes of my precious time I pay $2.78 for a liter. So I workout and then make myself some of this magical juice. 1 liter of OJ, 75g of dextrose, 33g of protein, and 5g of creatine. I start drinking away and decide to go measure my bicep since it was the only thing I had time to measure a few weeks ago. 13.5"? Can that be right? At 155lbs I don't know. A few weeks ago it was 12.5" using the same measuring system. Anyhow, I drink this potion which is supposed to be nursed over 1.5 hours and is fabled to taste like an Orange Julius. News flash : IT DOESN'T TASTE LIKE AN ORANGE FRICKEN JULIUS. It tastes like ULTRA sweet orange juice with nasty vanilla whey powder floating in it. Screw my junk ass blender. So I go to meet up with my friends in a bigger town (20 minutes away) and nurse the orange delight all the way there (along with about 1.5 liters of water). I was extra careful not to spill it on my pants which happen to be fairly new and free of stain. I get to town and as I pull in to the parking lot I spill the **** all over my legs and hands. I will not elaborate on the explicit language that spewed from my mouth at that point.

    Anyhow, 2 hours and 150g of sugar later my teeth have all fallen out and I begin to gum an order of buffalo chicken strips. It's amazing how tough it is to swallow unchewed chicken. After all is said and done I had a chocolate milkshake and went back to my girlfriend's house to go to sleep. That didn't work well. What I didn't anticipate is something that all should note and remember.
    DO NOT DRINK 3 LITERS OF LIQUID BEFORE BED UNLESS YOU ENJOY WAKING UP EVERY HOUR TO PISS.
    I will repeat the preceding because it bears repeating.
    DO NOT DRINK 3 LITERS OF LIQUID BEFORE BED UNLESS YOU ENJOY WAKING UP EVERY HOUR TO PISS.
    That is all.

    The End
    Last edited by galileo; 01-10-2003 at 10:39 AM.

  5. #4
    Journalist galileo's Avatar
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    Originally posted by MonStar
    Haha I like the way that your journal looks man. Now just keep it up. Looking forward to seeing how the journal entries themselves are going to look.

    Again galileo good luck with your goals.
    Thanks Mon*, I appreciate it. I will set up my strength goals after my workout this evening. I have no goals for tonight's workout except "Complete It." A few weeks ago I did some decent dippage (+55lbsx9) but somewhere along the lines I was very stressed and seemed to lose a lot of strength. That's disturbing. So I've decided to so with a slow, dramatic motion 2seconds +/- and I shall see if it can whip the llama's ass.

    I think I am going to add lateral raises in there though because I like them. I will definitely keep it up.

    Btw, the journal entries will probably mutate in form daily until I find a setup I am comfortable with.

    Keep reading and keep posting comments. Otherwise I'll get bored and be forced to kill everyone.

    Any diet comments?

  6. #5
    is no more. Orange357's Avatar
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    Originally posted by galileo



    Keep reading and keep posting comments. Otherwise I'll get bored and be forced to kill everyone.

    Any diet comments?


    lol!


    your diets needs work.
    ...watch me reap of what I sow....

    and BOOM goes the dynomite!

  7. #6
    Journalist galileo's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Orange357
    your diets needs work.
    Care to enlighten me, or is this part of the trademark Orange357 humorous banter?

  8. #7
    is no more. Orange357's Avatar
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    Re: 08.21.2002

    No bantar here.

    first of all, Im a little confuse in your format want to show me the rubric for the breakdown?


    Lots of fruit and breads...not too good for cutting for starters...Maybe splitting up the fat and carb meals may help also?
    ...watch me reap of what I sow....

    and BOOM goes the dynomite!

  9. #8
    Journalist galileo's Avatar
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    I am not cutting I am bulking. My calories are around 18xBW.

    As explained in the preface to the section it is
    serving foodname, calories, fat, carbs [fiber], protein.

    The fruit I eat is blueberries and strawberries, which happen to be higher in fiber and very very high in minerals content. Two champions of fruit.

    The breads I'd love to eliminate but it is pretty tough to do so. I picked the best possible breads I could find (Brownberry Whole Wheat and Pepridge Farms 9 grain) but that is not to say I wouldn't like to get rid of them completely.

  10. #9
    is no more. Orange357's Avatar
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    Originally posted by galileo
    I am not cutting I am bulking. My calories are around 18xBW.

    As explained in the preface to the section it is
    serving foodname, calories, fat, carbs [fiber], protein.

    The fruit I eat is blueberries and strawberries, which happen to be higher in fiber and very very high in minerals content. Two champions of fruit.

    The breads I'd love to eliminate but it is pretty tough to do so. I picked the best possible breads I could find (Brownberry Whole Wheat and Pepridge Farms 9 grain) but that is not to say I wouldn't like to get rid of them completely.
    well then, nevermind, I thought you were cutting...carry on
    ...watch me reap of what I sow....

    and BOOM goes the dynomite!

  11. #10

  12. #11
    Senior Member Accipiter's Avatar
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    NICE I like the stars rating....I hereby pirate that over to my journal

  13. #12
    fat and small Blood&Iron's Avatar
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    Originally posted by galileo

    The breads I'd love to eliminate but it is pretty tough to do so. I picked the best possible breads I could find (Brownberry Whole Wheat and Pepridge Farms 9 grain) but that is not to say I wouldn't like to get rid of them completely.
    I wouldn't. Carbs should be the foundation of any bulk. A case could be made for higher-GI stuff than you are using.

    Nice journal, btw.

    We tend to think of Sisyphus as a tragic hero, condemned by the gods to shoulder his rock sweatily up the mountain, and again up the mountain, forever. The truth is that Sisyphus is in love with the rock. He cherishes every roughness and every ounce of it. He talks to it, sings to it. It has become the mysterious Other. He even dreams of it as he sleepwalks upward. Life is unimaginable without it, looming always above him like a huge gray moon. He doesn’t realize that at any moment he is permitted to step aside, let the rock hurtle to the bottom, and go home.

    Parables and Portraits, Stephen Mitchell

  14. #13
    Energizer Bunnie
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    Great read & highly entertaining....
    "Happiness is not an accident. Nor is it something you wish for. Happiness is something you design." Jim Rohn

    A Work In Progress....II

    DailyDiet

  15. #14
    Journalist galileo's Avatar
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    Accipiter: Have at it

    B&I: Want to throw some advice my way? This is my first controlled bulk. The last time I bulked I just ate whatever and in large quantities. Now, I would like to be a little more controlled.

    Frankipani: Thanks! Stay tuned...

  16. #15
    Journalist galileo's Avatar
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    08.22.2002

    I. Mastication and Deglutition
    Daily Rating: *****

    mealOne
    I bought eggs but I came in really late this morning. At least I don't have gas now.
    60g of fiber one, 123, 2, 48 [28], 5
    8oz cool milky goodness, 80, 0, 13 [0], 8
    1oz blueberries, 16, 0, 4 [1], 0
    1 peach bluebunny yogurt, 80, 0, 14 [0], 6
    0.4oz almonds, 68, 6, 2 [1], 3
    Totals : 367, 7, 81 [30], 23
    Split : 18%, 57%, 25%

    mealTwo
    2oz rolled oatmeal, 213, 4, 38 [6], 7
    8oz lactose-free skim milk, 80, 0, 13 [0], 8
    2oz blueberries, 32, 0, 4 [2], 0
    4oz tuna, 120, 1, 0 [0], 26
    1tbsp high lignin flax seed oil, 110, 11, 1 [1], 0
    Totals : 554, 16, 60 [8], 41
    Split : 28%, 40%, 32%

    mealThree
    7oz fat free cottage cheese, 140, 0, 9 [0], 25
    4oz strawberries, 32, 0, 8 [3], 1
    1 brownberry whole wheat bagel, 210, 1, 44 [6], 9
    32g natural peanut butter, 200, 16, 7 [2], 7
    Totals : 582, 17, 67 [11], 41
    Split : 29%, 41%, 30%

    mealFour
    2 slices of 9-grain bread, 180, 2, 30 [6], 8
    2oz turkey, 60, 0, 2 [0], 11
    1 blue bunny yogurt, 80, 0, 14 [0], 6
    0.8oz almonds, 136, 11, 5 [2], 31
    Totals : 456, 14, 51 [8], 31
    Split : 30%, 41%, 29%

    mealFive
    3oz chicken breast (a very tiny bit of salsa or season), 100, 1, 0 [0], 23
    3oz whole wheat pasta, 285, 2, 51 [9], 2
    0.5cup low sugar pasta sauce, 70, 3, 8 [2], 2
    1tbsp high lignin flax seed oil, 110, 1 [1], 0
    Totals : 565, 16, 60 [12], 38
    Split : 30%, 39%, 31%

    II. Training
    Daily Rating: n/a

    III. Slumber
    Daily Rating: *****
    I went to bed at my girlfriend's house a little after midnight and woke up 6 times to piss. I got up around 6:45 and headed home.
    Total Sleep: 6 hours

    IV. Daily Rant
    Ok what the hell? I weighed myself and I am at 160. I was well hydrated before and no matter what time I weighed myself, it was still around 152-154. Creatine? Anyhow...I AM GETTING FAT. 2750 calories must be too high for my fragile metabolism. I did my caliper test and it is higher than it's been in a long time. I wish I could do some home-lipo surgery like that assface who cut up his own nipple. Anyway, I spent a long time cutting and I don't want to totally blow this bulk. Maybe I am just paranoid. I could be retaining some water. I am going to lower my calories to 2500 and try that. Bah. I'll lower the dinner calories tonight and start with a new plan for tomorrow. I think I am going to stay in tonight and sulk.

    The End

  17. #16
    fat and small Blood&Iron's Avatar
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    Originally posted by galileo

    B&I: Want to throw some advice my way? This is my first controlled bulk. The last time I bulked I just ate whatever and in large quantities. Now, I would like to be a little more controlled.
    Actually, I think it looks like you're doing quite a good job, although if you are, in fact, putting on too much fat obviously you're right in taking things down a notch.

    Anyways, here's an article(the 1st in a series) that might be of help:
    http://www.thinkmuscle.com/articles/...ne-diet-01.htm

    We tend to think of Sisyphus as a tragic hero, condemned by the gods to shoulder his rock sweatily up the mountain, and again up the mountain, forever. The truth is that Sisyphus is in love with the rock. He cherishes every roughness and every ounce of it. He talks to it, sings to it. It has become the mysterious Other. He even dreams of it as he sleepwalks upward. Life is unimaginable without it, looming always above him like a huge gray moon. He doesn’t realize that at any moment he is permitted to step aside, let the rock hurtle to the bottom, and go home.

    Parables and Portraits, Stephen Mitchell

  18. #17
    Super Mastah Mod rookiebldr's Avatar
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    Galileo

    Lots of fun reading your journal. Very vivid! Keep up the good work and best of luck on your bulk.

    B&I- You are the man with the links, good article.
    Last edited by rookiebldr; 08-22-2002 at 09:46 PM.

    Me /pwn1ng by Xian Rookie's journal Rookie's Picture Thread

    Damn right you will be! We don't mess around down here. Liquor and Steel, that's what we're all about -Casey

    ROFL, oh man - I usually wait until I'm on the freeway to do that. What an idiot! -teufy doing what he does best.

    You aren't strong enough or pretty enough to train in the evenings with us...better stick to noon workouts with the rest of the geriatrics. - pup

    Yeah. I'm a dork. - Teufy

    Better yet, "why should anyone's interpretation of divinity govern modern society?" - Twilo

  19. #18
    Energizer Bunnie
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    Originally posted by rookiebldr
    Galileo
    Lots of fun reading your journal. Very vivid! Keep up the good work and best of luck on your bulk.
    :withstupi

    The daily rant is my personal favourite
    "Happiness is not an accident. Nor is it something you wish for. Happiness is something you design." Jim Rohn

    A Work In Progress....II

    DailyDiet

  20. #19
    Journalist galileo's Avatar
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    08.23.2002

    I. Mastication and Deglutition
    Daily Rating: *****

    mealOne
    3 eggs, 224, 15, 2 [0], 19
    75g of fiber one, 185, 3, 72 [43], 8
    9.6oz cool milky goodness, 96, 0, 16 [0], 10
    1 banana, 109, 1, 28 [3], 1
    Totals : 613, 18, 117 [46], 38
    Split : 18%, 57%, 25%

    mealTwo
    2oz rolled oatmeal, 213, 4, 38 [6], 7
    8oz lactose-free skim milk, 80, 0, 13 [0], 8
    2oz blueberries, 32, 0, 4 [2], 0
    4oz tuna, 120, 1, 0 [0], 26
    1tbsp high lignin flax seed oil, 110, 11, 1 [1], 0
    Totals : 554, 16, 60 [8], 41
    Split : 28%, 40%, 32%

    mealThree
    7oz fat free cottage cheese, 140, 0, 9 [0], 25
    4oz strawberries, 32, 0, 8 [3], 1
    1 brownberry whole wheat bagel, 210, 1, 44 [6], 9
    32g natural peanut butter, 200, 16, 7 [2], 7
    Totals : 582, 17, 67 [11], 41
    Split : 29%, 41%, 30%

    mealFour
    2 slices of 9-grain bread, 180, 2, 30 [6], 8
    2oz turkey, 60, 0, 2 [0], 11
    1 blue bunny yogurt, 80, 0, 14 [0], 6
    0.8oz almonds, 136, 11, 5 [2], 31
    Totals : 456, 14, 51 [8], 31
    Split : 30%, 41%, 29%

    mealFive
    Not Sure. It's friday night and I'll be out, but I'll get chicken wherever I go and bring some almonds or something

    II. Training
    Daily Rating: n/a

    III. Slumber
    Daily Rating: *****
    I went to bed at a whopping 11:00 last night and got up at 7:00! Problem was, my girlfriend couldn't sleep and moved me around 106 times during the night so it was broken sleep.
    Total Sleep: 8 hours - broken

    IV. Daily Rant
    Oh boy...what a day.

    It's about 10:00am and I decide it's time to drop the kids off at the pool. This is a daily ritual for me now that I've started my bulk and I've learned that when you have 50g of fiber for breakfast you tend to crap ridiculous amounts at any given time. So I go in the stall and shut the door and approach the bowl. Instead of being gleeful because it's time to poo, I look down to find there is a pubic hair resting right on the lip of the toilet...WHAT THE FÜCK? One perfect, prestine pubic hair is displayed right in the center for all to see. It looks like it was deliberately placed there for all to view. Was the owner of this pubic hair so proud of his trouser-fro that he had to leave a sample for others to ogle? Now, I am not squeemish about many things, but one thing I can not handle is to see another man's pubic hair, let alone one positioned about one inch from where my cock will be hanging for any length of time.
    So I grab some toilet paper and some courage and I wipe the offending hair from the crapper. I throw the little bugger in the garbage and continue my ritual of wiping off everything in sight, especially that which will be within a few centimeters of rectal (or other) contact. I then reach up to grab a toilet cover and...
    WHAM...a pubic hair falls from the seat cover holder and lands directly in the center of the water. At this point I am freaking out. What the fück was the previous occupant doing in the toilet that required his pubic hairs to be scattered around the bathroom as if it was Christmas time? One might ask, "How could one get so many pubic hairs trapped in their fingers BEFORE they used the seat covers?" So I flushed the toilet 18 times and wiped it down an extra 15 and then used 6 seat covers to protect my anus from any chance that another truant pubic hair might be introduced to my lower region. Do you know how hard it is to poop with the thought of another guy's pubic hair running rampant in your brain? Do you know the ill feelings that fill your head as your place of sanctuary is violated? Well, Do you?

    This little story has birthed a new section of my journal.
    Without further ado, I give you...*drum roll*

    V. Thought of the Day (or week)
    Pubic hairs are dangerous weapons. Thanks to the Brady bill it takes criminals many days before they can own a weapon but any idiot can own pubic hairs starting as early as 10 years old (or in my case 18). How responsible is a 10 year old to be able to possess such a device? Therefore - I propose a new idea for the government which I will be sending in a document called "The Galileo Prospectus." In this bill it will be stated that no one must be in possession of, or be party to, one who has pubic hairs without a full background check, minimum IQ verification, and a full course on bathroom etiquette.

    This will eliminate the need for excessive cleansing and fits of vomitting that may occur from day to day. Thank you.




    The End

  21. #20
    fat and small Blood&Iron's Avatar
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    Re: 08.23.2002

    Originally posted by galileo


    It's about 10:00am and I decide it's time to drop the kids off at the pool.
    Wow, you've got kids? I'm a year older than you and I can still barely take be trusted to tie my shoes without drooling all over myself in the process...

    BTW, the 'pube' story was f'ckin hilarious.

    We tend to think of Sisyphus as a tragic hero, condemned by the gods to shoulder his rock sweatily up the mountain, and again up the mountain, forever. The truth is that Sisyphus is in love with the rock. He cherishes every roughness and every ounce of it. He talks to it, sings to it. It has become the mysterious Other. He even dreams of it as he sleepwalks upward. Life is unimaginable without it, looming always above him like a huge gray moon. He doesn’t realize that at any moment he is permitted to step aside, let the rock hurtle to the bottom, and go home.

    Parables and Portraits, Stephen Mitchell

  22. #21
    Journalist galileo's Avatar
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    Dropping the Kids off At the Pool

    In case that wasn't sarcasm

  23. #22
    fat and small Blood&Iron's Avatar
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    Originally posted by galileo
    Dropping the Kids off At the Pool

    In case that wasn't sarcasm
    No sarcasm. Now you understand why I have such difficulty tying my own shoelaces; I'm borderline retarded.

    We tend to think of Sisyphus as a tragic hero, condemned by the gods to shoulder his rock sweatily up the mountain, and again up the mountain, forever. The truth is that Sisyphus is in love with the rock. He cherishes every roughness and every ounce of it. He talks to it, sings to it. It has become the mysterious Other. He even dreams of it as he sleepwalks upward. Life is unimaginable without it, looming always above him like a huge gray moon. He doesn’t realize that at any moment he is permitted to step aside, let the rock hurtle to the bottom, and go home.

    Parables and Portraits, Stephen Mitchell

  24. #23
    Journalist galileo's Avatar
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    Do what I do, invest in some nice velcro shoes and enjoy the life of the ignorant. Ahh, sweet bliss!

  25. #24
    is no more. Orange357's Avatar
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    Hey, biatch the Rant(TM) is trademarked!!!!
    ...watch me reap of what I sow....

    and BOOM goes the dynomite!

  26. #25
    Journalist galileo's Avatar
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    Well your rights have been usurped. *cough*biatch.

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