Woke up without bloat, so that's a good thing. I pinched another 10mm this morning on the abs, so the week was a success so far. I'm going to be as careful as I was last week and just totally wreck-shop this weekend on my power workout.
Refeeding is great, but it's really hard not to overdo it, even when you shoot for 800g of carbs. At 9:30 now I had already earten the first 3 meals and I really really want to start eating more. By 2:00 I didn't feel like eating anything else...ever.
It was approxiamately -459.67°F outside this morning (-273.15°C for you Canadian ****s). It took me 20 minutes of driving before all of the frost was off of my windows, at which point I was entering the town I work in. I guess it's time to start setting the clock back 10 minutes so I can defrost and scrape again.
r-ala, glutamine, daily one cap, b-100, e complex, c-1000, glucosamine, coral calcium, melatonin, zinc, yohimburn
· 1/2 cup egg beaters, 8oz milk, 2 low-fat twinkies 200mg r-ala, 500mg coral calcium, multivitamin, 400iu vitamin e
· 6oz gatorade, 60g boo berry cereal, 8oz milk, 100mg r-ala, 5g creatine
· low fat twinkie, 2 blueberry bagels, fat-free cream cheese, 6oz gatorade, 100mg r-ala, glucosamine, 1g vitamin c, 5g creatine
· 12" subway turkey on honey-oat 100mg r-ala, b-100
· 2 blueberry bagels, fat-free cream cheese, 100mg r-ala, 5g creatine
· pasta, 6oz gatorade, 100mg r-ala, 5g creatine
· bagels and fat-free cream cheese, melatonin, 50mg zinc
4000 kcal 30g fat 800g carbs 170g protein
Wow, I got 7 hours of sleep again.
The Vagina Card
As lunch approached I got a hankering for some subway, so I got in my car and made the half-mile trek to the plaza through lunch-hour traffic. On the way I began thinking about how I wanted to palaver on the "vagina card," but wasn't sure what context I'd like to present it in. I entered subway only to be confronted with a long line full of collegiate douche-sacks. The girl directly in front of me was talking on her cell phone, making plans for this evening. She was covered in makeup and fake tanner and had an obnoxious mien about her that made me bitterly recall my days in highschool. Little did I know, that this girl would be the key to today's palaver. The stage is set.
Sammich Artist: <stares at girl, ready to take her order>
Cardholder: (into cell phone) No, you decide! No, you! Ok, the guy is ready to take my order so I'll call you later. (whispering)i love you. <hangs up>
Sammich Artist: What'll it be today, ma'am?
Her expression at that moment was what I'd consider typical of anyone who was inconsiderate enough to not figure out what the **** she wanted before she got on the ****ing cell phone, staring half-dazed at the menu. It a split-moment, I saw this change from innocent ignorance to pure treachery. Oh no...she wouldn't. She couldn't?
Cardholder: (turns to the heinously fat kid standing in line next to her) Are you buying?
Fat Kid: Uh, ok. I...uh, guess.
My friends, you have just witnessed the vagina card in action. Still confused?
The vagina card is issued to all attractive females at birth. Even though it holds no sexual meaning with [most] fathers, they are immediately affected by the V.C. and cater to their daughters every whim. As they go through elementary school, the boys take notice and may give the cardholders their dessert or even worse, they may succumb to playing with dolls just to be near them! As the girls mature the cash value of the V.C. increases substantially. In their teenage years cardholders may find that men of equivalent or greater age may pick them up in a car and take them to a dinner and a movie, paying for it entirely. When they hit their early twenties the benefits increase to allow them to drink for free at almost any bar and acquire jewelry and other presents, just "for being themselves." Once a woman hits full maturity the V.C. can force a man to do things he'd normally never do such as getting married, having babies, or worse yet taking care of the babies, while his wife goes out with a group of non-cardholding women to talk about how much they hate men! This is the prime example of one phenomenon that must be noted. Cardholders always hang out with non-cardholders. Never will you see a group of cardholders together without a majority of non-cardholders in the area. Studies show that the V.C.'s value increases exponentially if they are in the present of non-cardholding women; therefore it is of the utmost benefit that cardholders never roam with only their kind.
There is nothing men can do to counteract the evils of the vagina card, so I can only caution them to take heed in all applicable situations. And women, please use your card responsibly. There are a lot of broken-hearted heinously fat guys out there who only want to be loved. Introduce them to one of your non-cardholding friends. It's the only humane thing to do.