The Five Biggest Contradictions in Fitness
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The Five Biggest Contradictions in Fitness

Itís no secret that when people contradict themselves, it has the effect of making the flaws in their actions or statements seem glaringly obvious. But what about when WE ourselves get caught contradicting ourselves by someone else?

By: Nick Tumminello Added: January 6th, 2014
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Thread: "love"

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  1. #1
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    "love"

    "LOVE"

    what is it? is this something tha we manifest within ourselves that drive us to seek and possibly created an imagination of what it should be. I just don't know anymore what it is. I thought I knew but I am not sure. Years back I fell head over heels for a girl and we dated for three years. The relationship ended pretty badly to the point I couldn't stand her anymore. She cheated on me and it created ever lasting wrong impression in my mind. Then for a little while, i just couldn't let any girl get close to me. Then i had a whole string of girlfriends, but never found anyone to who i really connected or felt like wow, i want to be with you. Almost seems like i have become apathetic and detached. Maybe it's like my way of protecting myself from getting hurt. Sometimes, i don't even really care to hang out with my gf. I rather stay home or go out on my own to shop, to the bookstore etc.

    I am just curious if this is normal or should i get some help. If so what are the suggestions.

    thanks in advance.
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  3. #2
    天龙 McIrish's Avatar
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    Love is like afternoon delight! Aaaaafternoon... delight!

    Sorry, I have nothing constructive to add here - there are thousands of trite platitudes that people are going to throw at you trying to tell you what love really is. "It's putting someone else's happiness above your own" or "it's accepting and cherishing everything about someone, including their many shortcomings and faults", etc., ad nauseum. Nobody can tell you what love means to you, so unless you want hundreds of erstwhile Shakespeares pouring out their hearts to you, I suggest you do this one alone.

    On second read, that sounded a little pessismistic - don't get me wrong, I'm a helpless romantic, but I don't think you should ever rely on what someone else says for the big "L," ya know?
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  4. #3
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    You can't define love. It's just a thing that kind of happens. You know who you love. I was in pretty much the exact same boat as you for a while. I broke up with my girlfriend of three years, who I was deeply in love with. She never cheated on me, but I'm pretty sure she had feelings for somebody else and wasted no time dating again after we broke up, so I still felt pretty betrayed.

    It's okay to feel heartbroken. And it's okay to have a girlfriend that you don't truly love, too. It's okay to want some alone time. Love just kind of happens. If you feel unloved, remember what Elie Wiesel said. It's more important to love than to be loved. Don't worry about it. Only time and God can decide when true love will come to you.

  5. #4
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    There's no such thing. They all hurt in the end.
    23 y/o, 170 lbs

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    lost the battle!

  6. #5
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    cant define it, it depends what you personally think it is i guess, for example i think about my girlfriend all the time, and love spending time with her, look into her eyes and give her a kiss and i still get the jitters doing it.

    not sure really man...
    2000 or bust

  7. #6
    Ex-Manwhore KingWilder's Avatar
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    humans aren't meant to love in terms of what you're talking about

    males are supposed to spread their seed with as many females as possible

    wanting only to spread it in one female...maybe that's love
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  8. #7
    Senior Member noahfor123's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KingWilder View Post

    wanting only to spread it in one female...maybe that's love
    You're a poet.

  9. #8
    DeaTH BeFoRe WeaKNeSs sCaRz*Of*PaiN's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KingWilder View Post
    males are supposed to spread their seed with as many females as possible
    That would be an opinion, not a fact.
    "The only easy day was yesterday."

  10. #9
    Senior Member Natetaco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sCaRz*Of*PaiN View Post
    That would be an opinion, not a fact.
    I think its pretty true, if you look at animal instinct. Most animals dont stay to one mate, they go out and mate as much as they can with different mates to pass their genes on.
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  11. #10
    Back in business WBBIRL's Avatar
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    I would describe being in love as finding that person who makes you happy. When you spend time with that person hours seem like minuets. All the problems that trouble you are so far from you conscious mind when your with that one person special to you.

    When you fall in love, more over express those feelings you have, your taking a risk. You can end up hurt, but you can also end up being happier then you've ever been before. No one wants to be rejected and no one wants to see their sweetheart in the arms of someone else. You would feel hollow inside, like you gave someone your heart and they threw it away. You just have to tell yourself that its not YOU thats not worth it, its them. YOUR to good for them and if they couldn't realize how lucky they were to be with you then its their problem.

    Its hard, I know its hard. I've only been dating a girl for about 2 months now but I wouldn't trade her for anything in the world. When we spend time together six hours can go by and its seems more like 1 or 2. The way she looks at me and her beautiful smile just melt me instantly. And if things end up not working out between us it would be very hard to move on but I would, because I know how happy I am now and I could be that happy again. I would like to see the 2 of us last, but there are 300+ million other people out there in the U.S. alone so I could find someone somewhere that would make me happy.

    Lifes too short not to enjoy it to the fullest, and I dont know about you but since I've met her I've never been happier.

  12. #11
    The Body Never Lies Nosaj's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PHOENIX View Post
    Sometimes, i don't even really care to hang out with my gf. I rather stay home or go out on my own to shop, to the bookstore etc.

    I am just curious if this is normal or should i get some help. If so what are the suggestions.
    You definitely should go talk to someone who can help you work through your issues. There is no reason to not have a healthy current relationship, and I think you already know that or you wouldn't be asking these questions. Nobody likes having a gf that they don't really care about, and the only person who can fix that situation is you by finding and talking to people who can help you work through your issues. Your girlfriend might have broken your heart, but the only one responsible for your current mindset is you, so do what it takes to be where you wanna be.
    Scars are tatoos with better stories.

  13. #12
    Up On the Roof! theJamAbides's Avatar
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    Love is farce. It is merely a chemical coursing through your veins. That's it.

    Commitement... That's what a relationship should be based on. A conscious decision to be "in love".

    If you can't tell the difference, ignore the chemical, and just figure out how to be happy with yourself.
    Last edited by theJamAbides; 04-29-2007 at 06:43 PM.
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  14. #13
    Senior Member noahfor123's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by theJamAbides View Post
    Love is farce. It is merely a chemical coursing through your veins. That's it.

    Commitement... That's what a relationship should be based on. A conscious decision to be "in love".

    If you can't tell the difference, ignore the chemical, and just figure out how to be happy with yourself.
    I don't agree with the "love is just a chemical reaction" view. Sure, it is, but then so is every experience or thought you've ever had. Music is just a chemical reaction, math is just a chemical reaction, you seeing this is just a chemical reaction.
    Last edited by noahfor123; 04-29-2007 at 08:56 PM.

  15. #14
    DeaTH BeFoRe WeaKNeSs sCaRz*Of*PaiN's Avatar
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    Yeah. With that view, you might as well just roll up into a fetal position and die because nothing matters. This has been an idea brought to you by Chemical Reactions, Inc.

    And yeah...everything is a "chemical reaction". Should that make them any less meaningful?
    Last edited by sCaRz*Of*PaiN; 04-29-2007 at 09:19 PM.
    "The only easy day was yesterday."

  16. #15
    Up On the Roof! theJamAbides's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sCaRz*Of*PaiN View Post
    Yeah. With that view, you might as well just roll up into a fetal position and die because nothing matters. This has been an idea brought to you by Chemical Reactions, Inc.

    And yeah...everything is a "chemical reaction". Should that make them any less meaningful?
    Ha, it's actually lyrics from a song. "Sometimes you look so beautiful but love is just a chemical passing through my head"... twothirtyeight, 'The Song Will Write the Words'.

    Maybe I was just trying to emphasize the point that love, and your 'heart' is the most deceiving at times. It's the conscious decision to love someone more than the feeling you get that counts in the end. Of course, that feeling should be what leads you there in the first place I suppose.
    Last edited by theJamAbides; 04-30-2007 at 08:14 AM.
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  17. #16
    DeaTH BeFoRe WeaKNeSs sCaRz*Of*PaiN's Avatar
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    But human beings are different than animals in that we can choose to do such things not based on instinct, but on choice. There's more to life than just "spreading your seed". If human beings acted on the "spread your seed" theory, we wouldn't have contraceptives. Human beings can fathom and think about the consequences of their actions and act on that by choice of will. If you were to act like you are spouting we are meant to act, you'd have a LOT of kids. Do you want to even take on that responsibility? And then you also take into consideration every other aspect of your life that having a child will affect. We may have sex just like the animals, but we aren't simple. The thought of that is rooted in your lack of appreciation for your own brain.
    Last edited by sCaRz*Of*PaiN; 04-29-2007 at 09:34 PM.
    "The only easy day was yesterday."

  18. #17
    Senior Member Natetaco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sCaRz*Of*PaiN View Post
    But human beings are different than animals in that we can choose to do such things not based on instinct, but on choice. There's more to life than just "spreading your seed". If human beings acted on the "spread your seed" theory, we wouldn't have contraceptives. Human beings can fathom and think about the consequences of their actions and act on that by choice of will. If you were to act like you are spouting we are meant to act, you'd have a LOT of kids. Do you want to even take on that responsibility? And then you also take into consideration every other aspect of your life that having a child will affect. We may have sex just like the animals, but we aren't simple. The thought of that is rooted in your lack of appreciation for your own brain.
    "That would be an opinion, not a fact."
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  19. #18
    DeaTH BeFoRe WeaKNeSs sCaRz*Of*PaiN's Avatar
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    That's not really an opinion. Then again, anything in this thread will probably be an opinion. You can choose to live your life however you want. You're not confined to simple instincts. That was my point. If you want to throw in something worth discussing, go for it.
    Last edited by sCaRz*Of*PaiN; 04-29-2007 at 09:48 PM.
    "The only easy day was yesterday."

  20. #19
    Senior Member Natetaco's Avatar
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    yep, all opinion in here. Nothing wrong with that though
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  21. #20
    Ex-Manwhore KingWilder's Avatar
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    aren't humans the only creatures that have sex for pleasure?

    I think I heard/read that somewhere...doesn't really stay on topic with this thread, just thought of it and couldn't remember if it was factual
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  22. #21
    Senior Member Natetaco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KingWilder View Post
    aren't humans the only creatures that have sex for pleasure?

    I think I heard/read that somewhere...doesn't really stay on topic with this thread, just thought of it and couldn't remember if it was factual
    Probably right, I guess we wouldnt know if any other animals did for pleasure would we?
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  23. #22
    DeaTH BeFoRe WeaKNeSs sCaRz*Of*PaiN's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KingWilder View Post
    aren't humans the only creatures that have sex for pleasure?

    I think I heard/read that somewhere...doesn't really stay on topic with this thread, just thought of it and couldn't remember if it was factual
    Primates and dolphins have sex for pleasure. Dolphins screw every chance they get. And some species of monkeys mate with multiple partners all day long. Dolphins are also the second most intelligent creatures on the planet next to humans. This is not taking into account the incredibly stupid things people do, I just mean in general. But, compared to dolphins, primates are rock stupid. During the whale birth season in Hawaii, all the dolphins will surround the new baby whales so that the sharks don't attack them (the blood in the water attracts the sharks). A bunch of dolphins do this in large groups. They are doing this for a completely different species by their own choice. Dolphins have also been known to surround helpless people in the water while fending off a shark or two until that person can get to shore. Dolphins are awesome.

    And I still think the "spreading the seed" theory is asinine. If we were primal morons with a lower IQ than a rock, then perhaps. You're throwing out everything else unique about the human species. There are a lot of amazing animals as well, but seriously...think a little deeper than that.
    Last edited by sCaRz*Of*PaiN; 04-29-2007 at 10:35 PM.
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  24. #23
    Ex-Manwhore KingWilder's Avatar
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    as far as the whole "spreading your seed thing" goes, I was only kidding

    just trying to add some humor to yet another "love" [/emo] thread...guess it failed haha
    Last edited by KingWilder; 04-29-2007 at 11:32 PM.
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  25. #24
    DeaTH BeFoRe WeaKNeSs sCaRz*Of*PaiN's Avatar
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    No worries. My sarcasm detector needs a little work.
    "The only easy day was yesterday."

  26. #25
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    Love is the condition in which the happiness of another is essential to your own.
    -- Robert Heinlein

    I have read an awful lot about love, but that's the most succinct summary of what love is that I've ever read.

    To the O.P.:
    You need to stop worrying about getting hurt. The good stuff only happens when you open yourself up and take chances. If you get hurt, you'll heal. Now it's entirely possible that you really just haven't met anyone else worthwhile since you got burned by your "first love". But odds are you've dated a number of pretty decent people since then. If you're holding yourself back out of fear of getting hurt then you're missing out.

    To use a weightlifting analogy (because, well, this is WBB) finding love is like heavy squatting. It's a little scary. Some of your friends will tell you you're crazy. It's hard. You know it's going to hurt, and if you keep pushing, you're going to fail, more than once. You'll crash down and only the rack will prevent you from being crushed to death. But if you keep getting under the bar and striving, the end results are more than worth it.

    Caveat:
    The above advice is designed for someone that wants to have a meaningful relationship of some sort. PUA/DonJuans/other assorted asshats will probably not find value there.
    Last edited by Relentless; 04-30-2007 at 05:40 AM.

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