what is it? is this something tha we manifest within ourselves that drive us to seek and possibly created an imagination of what it should be. I just don't know anymore what it is. I thought I knew but I am not sure. Years back I fell head over heels for a girl and we dated for three years. The relationship ended pretty badly to the point I couldn't stand her anymore. She cheated on me and it created ever lasting wrong impression in my mind. Then for a little while, i just couldn't let any girl get close to me. Then i had a whole string of girlfriends, but never found anyone to who i really connected or felt like wow, i want to be with you. Almost seems like i have become apathetic and detached. Maybe it's like my way of protecting myself from getting hurt. Sometimes, i don't even really care to hang out with my gf. I rather stay home or go out on my own to shop, to the bookstore etc.

I am just curious if this is normal or should i get some help. If so what are the suggestions.

thanks in advance.