The Five Biggest Contradictions in Fitness
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The Five Biggest Contradictions in Fitness

Itís no secret that when people contradict themselves, it has the effect of making the flaws in their actions or statements seem glaringly obvious. But what about when WE ourselves get caught contradicting ourselves by someone else?

By: Nick Tumminello Added: January 6th, 2014
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  1. #1
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    Fart Barker's ... ONE Cycle

    I was going to wait a couple more weeks before starting this but I've decided to just go ahead and get it over with.

    The goods........

    ONE Topical Anabolic Gel
    1 - 8 oz bottle containing
    6 grams 17-hydroxyandrost-1-ene-3-one


    Current stats.....

    bodyweight - 217
    bodyfat - 21%

    deadlift - 320 x 1
    bench - 305 x 1

    Cycle should last about 6 weeks
    Dosage will be 4 squirts a day


    alrighty then, let's light this candle..................

    First dose (2 squirts) was at 9:30 PM tonight. It burned like hell. That's all folks.
    Last edited by Fart Barker; 03-01-2002 at 09:17 PM.

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  3. #2
    Super Mastah Mod rookiebldr's Avatar
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    Good luck, looking forward to hearing about your progress. I've been thinking of trying something simular.

  4. #3
    Super Piddles captain piddles's Avatar
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    same here, Im allways looking for anything anabolic that is as good as the ads say it is

  5. #4
    fat and small Blood&Iron's Avatar
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    Aren't you worried about your nuts being sucked back into your body with such a long duration of use? I assume you have access to some sort of post-cycle therapy. Otherwise, from what I've read it's best to keep it to two weeks or so(Although, I'm about as far from an expert as one can be, having never personally used steroids.)

    We tend to think of Sisyphus as a tragic hero, condemned by the gods to shoulder his rock sweatily up the mountain, and again up the mountain, forever. The truth is that Sisyphus is in love with the rock. He cherishes every roughness and every ounce of it. He talks to it, sings to it. It has become the mysterious Other. He even dreams of it as he sleepwalks upward. Life is unimaginable without it, looming always above him like a huge gray moon. He doesnít realize that at any moment he is permitted to step aside, let the rock hurtle to the bottom, and go home.

    Parables and Portraits, Stephen Mitchell

  6. #5
    Player Hater PowerManDL's Avatar
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    Well, since that stuff won't do anything anyway, I wouldn't worry too much.

    Last edited by PowerManDL; 03-02-2002 at 01:39 AM.
    Vin Diesel has a fever.. and the only prescription is more cowbell.

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    Y2A 47: youre smooth as hell
    Y2A 47: thats why you get outta tickets, and into panties

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  7. #6
    Geordie The_Chicken_Daddy's Avatar
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    Actually Matt i think it might...
    "Geordie/'d3c:di/n. & adj. Brit colloq. n. 1 a native of Tyneside. 2 the dialect spoken on Tyneside. adj. of or relating to Tyneside, its people, or its dialect. [the name George + -IE]

  8. #7
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    Re: Fart Barker's ... ONE Cycle

    Originally posted by Fart Barker
    Dosage will be 4 squirts a day
    I'm so damn dumb. That's supposed to be 4 squirts, 2X a day.

  9. #8
    Meathead Philosopher Pup's Avatar
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    Originally posted by PowerManDL
    Well, since that stuff won't do anything anyway, I wouldn't worry too much.

    :withstupi
    May you be in heaven an hour before the devil knows you're dead.

  10. #9
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    Originally posted by PowerManDL
    Well, since that stuff won't do anything anyway, I wouldn't worry too much.

    gee, I hope you're wrong, $100 is a lot of money for skin burning gel

  11. #10
    Cardio bunny Alex.V's Avatar
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    I'm with chigsy. I think it might do something, too.

    But I seriously doubt a few weeks of low-dose, non-aromatizing steroid will cause testicular shrinkage. lol. You'll be fine. As far as clomid goes... I don't think your natural production will be THAT suppressed.. I suppose if you could get it, that wouldn't hurt, but that would involve going the illegal route, thus (I think?) missing the point of this exercise.
    Last edited by Alex.V; 03-02-2002 at 08:14 AM.
    "Except Belial. He knows everything. This isn't a sarcastic attack, either. He really knows everything." -----Organichu
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  12. #11
    fat and small Blood&Iron's Avatar
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    Originally posted by PowerManDL
    Well, since that stuff won't do anything anyway, I wouldn't worry too much.

    A number of reputable posters on other boards have reported very impressive gains.

    It might be good to actually know about the product in question before you offer your opinion. One is a legal anabolic steroid and as such carries with it both the same benefits and risks as illegal anabolics.

    As for limiting one's cycle to 2-3 weeks in the absence of post-cycle therapy, I believe Par Deus said that this is not necessary. He also stated, however, that using Clomid/Nolvadex/etc post-cycle is a relatively recent trend and that people used steroids just fine for 35 years without them. So take that for what it's worth. I would still be concerned about shutting down endogenous testosterone production. I would e-mail Par.

    We tend to think of Sisyphus as a tragic hero, condemned by the gods to shoulder his rock sweatily up the mountain, and again up the mountain, forever. The truth is that Sisyphus is in love with the rock. He cherishes every roughness and every ounce of it. He talks to it, sings to it. It has become the mysterious Other. He even dreams of it as he sleepwalks upward. Life is unimaginable without it, looming always above him like a huge gray moon. He doesnít realize that at any moment he is permitted to step aside, let the rock hurtle to the bottom, and go home.

    Parables and Portraits, Stephen Mitchell

  13. #12
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    Originally posted by Blood&Iron
    I would still be concerned about shutting down endogenous testosterone production.
    I figure I'm going to probably bump up the dosage in few days anyway so it'll probably be more like 4 wks as opposed to 6. Do you think ZMA would help any after the cycle?

  14. #13
    fat and small Blood&Iron's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Fart Barker


    I figure I'm going to probably bump up the dosage in few days anyway so it'll probably be more like 4 wks as opposed to 6. Do you think ZMA would help any after the cycle?
    Perhaps. Other people have reported that vitex and maca work. I'm pretty sure there is no data to back this up though, just anecdotal testimony. Really, I'm not very familiar with this sort of thing. Best to start a thread in the supplement section with 'Par' in the title or email him(Though it usually takes him a little while to respond.) I'd also check Elite and Bodybuilding.com for others' experiences.

    We tend to think of Sisyphus as a tragic hero, condemned by the gods to shoulder his rock sweatily up the mountain, and again up the mountain, forever. The truth is that Sisyphus is in love with the rock. He cherishes every roughness and every ounce of it. He talks to it, sings to it. It has become the mysterious Other. He even dreams of it as he sleepwalks upward. Life is unimaginable without it, looming always above him like a huge gray moon. He doesnít realize that at any moment he is permitted to step aside, let the rock hurtle to the bottom, and go home.

    Parables and Portraits, Stephen Mitchell

  15. #14
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    DAY 2

    bench press . . . 220 x 10 .. 220 x 7 .. 220 x 3

    shoulder press . . . 120 x 3 .. 120 x 5

    Haven't noticed anything unusual yet. No great pump. Maybe more volume would be better.

    dosage - 4 squirts a.m. + 4 squirts p.m.
    supplements - C, E, B12, Zinc
    bodyweight - 217
    bodyfat - 22%

    OBTW, I'm using a Tanita bodyfat scale so you might wanna just toss the bodyfat stat out the window, at least it gives me some sort of idea.

    Sorry, but I won't be detailing my diet. Too much of a pain in the ass pour moi. Just picture the world's best & worst muscle-building diets. Mine would be about right in the middle with a little lean towards the dark side.

  16. #15
    fat and small Blood&Iron's Avatar
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    Re: DAY 2

    Originally posted by Fart Barker

    Haven't noticed anything unusual yet. No great pump. Maybe more volume would be better.
    This is probably the first and only time I've ever said this, but your volume is too low. Have you read Par's comments on the Avant site. He says a bit about training volume while using One. Basically, higher volume is better. Might want to try HST as I think that + a ton of calories + One could really lead to impressive results. Don't waste this opportunity by undertraining and/or undereating.

    BTW, feel free to ignore me, I'm just trying to be helpful in my own annoying way.

    We tend to think of Sisyphus as a tragic hero, condemned by the gods to shoulder his rock sweatily up the mountain, and again up the mountain, forever. The truth is that Sisyphus is in love with the rock. He cherishes every roughness and every ounce of it. He talks to it, sings to it. It has become the mysterious Other. He even dreams of it as he sleepwalks upward. Life is unimaginable without it, looming always above him like a huge gray moon. He doesnít realize that at any moment he is permitted to step aside, let the rock hurtle to the bottom, and go home.

    Parables and Portraits, Stephen Mitchell

  17. #16
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    Re: Re: DAY 2

    Originally posted by Blood&Iron
    This is probably the first and only time I've ever said this, but your volume is too low. Have you read Par's comments on the Avant site. He says a bit about training volume while using One. Basically, higher volume is better. Might want to try HST as I think that + a ton of calories + One could really lead to impressive results. Don't waste this opportunity by undertraining and/or undereating.

    BTW, feel free to ignore me, I'm just trying to be helpful in my own annoying way.
    I'll be jackin up the volume and calories for sure

  18. #17
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    I'm gonna try to find my bodyfat calipers (they're somewhere around here) and use this cool excel spreadsheet I found today.

  19. #18
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    DAY 3

    no training today

    dosage - 4 squirts a.m. + 6 squirts p.m.
    supplements - C, E, B12, Zinc
    bodyweight - 215
    bodyfat - I found my calipers. Attached are the results. If you average all them out it comes out to 17.5%. Whatever, I'll take a picture when it's all over. I'm through with bodyfat calculations.

  20. #19
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    DAY 4

    deads
    240 x 9
    240 x 5
    170 x 9

    rows
    170 x 8
    170 x 8
    170 x 7

    chins
    6
    6
    4

    foofoo concentration curls
    40 x 6 R
    40 x 6 L
    no rest
    40 x 5 R
    40 x 5 L
    no rest
    40 x 2 R
    40 x 2 L

    ~ 45 minutes

    Pretty good workout. It's a damn shame I smoke. It sure as hell makes things a lot harder.

    dosage - 6 squirts a.m. + 4 squirts p.m.
    supplements - slimfast, balance bar, pure protein bar
    bodyweight - 217

    I figured I was wasting about half the dosages cuz afterwards I've gotta wash that stuff off my hands. For my p.m. dose, I squirted it on my wrists and rubbed in on my arms.

    Got the new issue of PowerMag in the mail today. I'm as happy as a little girl.

  21. #20
    fat and small Blood&Iron's Avatar
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    Re: DAY 4

    Originally posted by Fart Barker


    I figured I was wasting about half the dosages cuz afterwards I've gotta wash that stuff off my hands. For my p.m. dose, I squirted it on my wrists and rubbed in on my arms.
    Par has suggested using latex gloves when applying One for this very reason. Might help.

    We tend to think of Sisyphus as a tragic hero, condemned by the gods to shoulder his rock sweatily up the mountain, and again up the mountain, forever. The truth is that Sisyphus is in love with the rock. He cherishes every roughness and every ounce of it. He talks to it, sings to it. It has become the mysterious Other. He even dreams of it as he sleepwalks upward. Life is unimaginable without it, looming always above him like a huge gray moon. He doesnít realize that at any moment he is permitted to step aside, let the rock hurtle to the bottom, and go home.

    Parables and Portraits, Stephen Mitchell

  22. #21
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    Re: Re: DAY 4

    Originally posted by Blood&Iron
    Par has suggested using latex gloves when applying One for this very reason. Might help.
    Yea, I thought about that, I might try to get some this weekend.

  23. #22
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    DAY 5

    with about 1 - 2 minutes rest between sets

    bench
    310 x 0
    220 x 7
    170 x 9
    170 x 7
    120 x 8

    shoulder press
    120 x 3
    120 x 0

    skull crushers
    80 x 10
    80 x 4

    ~ 35 minutes

    dosage - 6 + 6
    bodyweight - 218

    HERE ARE A COUPLE PICS OF FART BARKER NOT BENCHING 310

    I was feeling jacked up today. Nothin quite like missing a record to bring you back down to earth. I was damn sure I would nail it too. Next week I will.

  24. #23
    O.K....not really mesmall's Avatar
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    Nice try....next week it shall be!!
    P.S. time to get a couple more 50's
    " Eat to grow, Progression to get stronger " - mesmall

  25. #24
    Super Piddles captain piddles's Avatar
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    you"ll get it , and before the ice melts on my picnic table you will probably have 325

  26. #25
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    thank ya,

    yea, prolly get a couple more 25s pretty soon, I've got 360 lbs altogether + the 17.5 lb bar with 2.5 lbs of tape but that includes a bunch of 10's, 5's, & 2.5's

    325, here I come

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